One of the hardest things for me is lying in bed alone, helpless and in pain. Wishing I could change my circumstance but also somehow feeling peace from God that he is giving me the strength to get through. My heart aches as I watch my sleeping son, so innocent and pure. I do not want him to experience the pain in this world as my husband and I have. I would do anything to protect him from lying in bed, alone, helpless and in pain. I want to protect this little man so desperately.

As I watch his father, my heart continues the ache. I see the helplessness, fear, pain, depression, anger and hopelessness sink into him. It has officially overtaken him. My heart breaks because this world is so painful yet so incredible. There is this awesome hope and peace I long for my family to experience. I walked the path of rebellion, the path of despair, the path of hopelessness. I have been there! I am on the other side right now and wish others could follow in the steps of my words and truly experience the deep love of Christ. We search and hunt for a fulfillment of pure love and acceptance, we search our whole lives for this, yet God created this place for Him, but we will fight to our death sometimes to find it in anything and everything except Him.

“Pain is weakness leaving the body” I heard this quote and was taken aback by it. The reality is that trials are difficult and painful most of the time. What’s your initial response when you here “pain is weakness leaving the body.” Your circumstances today, the pain you experience, are you learning from it or dodging it?

We are all on a hunt, a hunt for something more. Are we ever satisfied with life; I mean really, do we ever feel complete contentment with our circumstances? We are constantly striving for more. What if we stopped and were thankful for the current day and what we have been blessed with. How would our circumstances change?

My husband is on a work trip traveling to Oklahoma. He sent me a few pictures from the tornados yesterday. Strip malls completely emptied out and standing metal is all that remains. Wood piles, signs, and belongings all stripped away. Houses crumbled with only foundation remaining. Cars destroyed. This was a reality check for me. Even though I am not present in Oklahoma, the pictures did enough for me to realize how quickly we can lose everything, literally. Today he sent me pictures on his way back to the airport of the Oklahoma City Bombing memorial site; such a sad devastating situation yet a beautiful memorial. This was a good reminder as to the “stress” in the day and if I lost everything, what would remain and still hold importance; my family. That’s all that I truly care about even in the midst of distractions.

These are my simple thoughts for the evening.