Tag Archives: happiness

Faith or Religion

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 21 April, 2014 None comments

Oh boy, the very topic of religion and faith begin to rustle our feathers. My parents came into town for the weekend to watch our son while my husband and I enjoy a couple nights away for the very first time. We are extremely excited but it’s almost as if we are both waiting for something terribly bad to happen as you can see with our life….things simply don’t slow down. We live in a sarcastic zone right now almost expecting something to occur while joking with one another to only help keep our sanity alive. We sit in a stupor of “what just happened” kind of state while we try and process everything. It would actually be humorous to the outside world taking a look in to our home and the Cook’s sitting on the couch entirely unengaged by what is taking place in life not even able to converse with one another; simply starring at the motion streaming across the TV.

While we were chit-chatting last night with my parents, the topic of religion and faith got brought up. This is a sticky topic and tends to make many people uncomfortable. Isn’t that what we want, a place of uncomfortability? This is where we should be! I know it sounds clique but in all reality a comfortable place is a scary place. We never want to be comfortable with God, there should always be a relationship bouncing back and forth forcing contemplation of life and actions as well as a forward progression.

Thanks to: alookintomymind.wordpress.com

Thanks to: alookintomymind.wordpress.com

The topic of “earning” our place with God got brought up. Sometimes we live in a world of complete expectation; if you do something for me, than I’ll do something for you. This is exactly how we treat relationships. We fight against this very thing only to find this is exactly what we are looking for if we are honest. Perfect example- my husband was never blessed with a good childhood or parents who truly loved him. He thought from a young age, if he did all these things than they would accept him. That never happened. He joined the Airforce, got his bachelors and masters degree, went ahead and got his CPA license and now here he is….35 years old questioning his very being. What was all of that for? It was all for the very purpose of wanting to be accepted by his wealthy, prestige family who wouldn’t bat an eye at him unless he became something great. Even after all that, he wasn’t successful in their eyes. Years in school, hundreds of thousands of dollars spent only for the sake of their acceptance and longing to be loved never being met; my husbands happiness sunk deep into a hole. Realizing years later that he doesn’t even enjoy what he does for a living, it was all simply for the sake of “becoming something greater” that never existed. That greatness is within my husband, not the jobs be preforms. This is the concept we all need to remind ourselves of. This is a sad reality.

Earning acceptance comes in many different forms but we all do it on some level or another. We crave relationships and this is exactly why the weight of friendships become so heavy. We think we are being the best friend possible to only be let down because their reciprocation isn’t as much as yours is. These are lies that you are believing. We need to live in a relationship for that relationship and not what you can get out of it, but what you can bless them with. This is what makes great people of the world, this is what brings credibility, this is what brings true friendship and love. This is what helps create happiness.

Letting go of expectation will bring about a giving heart. This is where Christ wants us. We need to serve those around us just as Christ has called us to do. This all ties into religion and the expectation that if we are “good enough” God will bless us. This isn’t how relationships work, so why would we want a religion that works that way. Works based religion will only tear you down because you will and cannot ever be good enough. Look at my husband, he did everything he knew they would like but it was never enough. Do you really want to Worship a God who you can’t quite meet up to His standards and waste your life trying? We become consumed with these thoughts to only blame God for not following through on His end of the bargain. “I’ve been faithful, I’ve stayed married, I had multiple children, I help friends, I work hard, I share my money so why aren’t you blessing me back?” These are the very thoughts we take on when life gets hard. I’ve done all these things so why are you bringing tragedy into my life? Why are we in the hospital with my son, I’ve been faithful? Why did my mother have to die without resolution? Why? Why? Why?

The very essence of our works based religion stems from a selfish gain. I’ve done all these things so you should pour down blessing on me? It’s the very thought that keeps our focus on ourselves not Christ. God wants to pour blessings upon us, but when our perspective is on HIM not OURSELVES. He also wants us to get the very essence that we are forgiven before we even act upon our sin. This is a faith based relationship with God, not a religion. God wants us to accept the fact that we are forgiven and have the gift of salvation, NOTHING is to be earned. We don’t want to strive so hard in friendships to earn their approval, those relationships are not worth out time, so why would we do the same with God?

Friends, we all need to remember that God died for us a painful death only for the sake of taking the sin of the world upon His shoulders before we even sinned those very sins. He had to take upon the impossible to create the possible! Without his death and resurrection, there is no point in living! We are redeemed brothers and sisters and need to start living in that redemption. He forgave us when he was strung upon the cross; walk in that freedom! This is Faith not religion. Faith is accepting the gift of Christ not earning something he’s already handed us. There are a million billion doors of love to walk through and one of those doors is for you! God has strategically placed His loving hand in your life waiting for you to accept it and walk through the door of true life; living in grace and freedom! No matter how flawless your behavior, the answer to being worthy enough of Christ’s love is always no. You are not worthy enough by any means, but simply because He loves you. Your performance and Christ’s love are completely different issues, which we all need to sort out. “I love you with an everlasting Love that flows out from eternity without limits or conditions.” ~Sarah Calling

Faith Vs Religion1

You are not trapped and enslaved to sin! There is a hope and a future! Even though life is down right horrible and painful at times, our hope begins to be refined when in the midst of hardship, begging for something greater than ourselves. When life gets messy we seek for something bigger than our powerless hands, but when life is fantastic we use our hands to try and run the world thinking we have it all under control! We must not let unexpected events throw us off course.

Moment of Truth: Learning to accept the forgiveness already handed to you and choosing to talk in that freedom. You are redeemed! “If I have you permanent Peace, independent of My Presence, you might fall into the trap of self-sufficiency.” ~Sarah  Young

The Million Dollar Question

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 18 April, 2014 None comments

This morning I had a conversation with my husband before work about his job and his happiness. This has become a very frequent conversation as of lately. The million dollar question still remains unanswered; “what will make me happy?” It’s not about the money for him, it’s not about anything but enjoying what he is doing and being successful at it. Does that mean you stay in the same career but in a different position or simply change fields all together? The many questions remain. How to narrow down the answers for the unknown is almost impossible.

As a wife, my biggest problem is wanting to solve this issue knowing I can’t create the perfect job for him that he would love to attend everyday. The struggle of helping him, supporting him, and making a plan with him is extremely challenging for me as I can not create his happiness. I know he turns to me because he wants me to help solve this situation as well and I can’t. It’s a tough position to be in and I wish I could answer that million dollar question.

The million dollar question

From an outside perspective, even though I’m not truly on the outside, I can see that some things take more time than we would like. I know answers will come, I know he will gain an interest in what he really wants to do and I know ultimately, he will begin to see more clearly. He’s had a whirlwind of events take place the last couple years but as of frequent, the last three months. The problem isn’t only his job, it’s life. He has battled relationships and abandonment with his mother while reconnecting with her only to lose her a second time and this time for good. He got married and had a baby within months and since then, life has only sped up. There has been no roadmap along the way.

We find ourselves here two years later only to say “wow!” These past two years have encompassed more than we bargained for yet we still can’t believe it’s only been two years all at the same time. Learning how to be married, be parents, and live life while finding our identity is anything but easy. I think most often people tend to dismiss the tough questions in life and tell you to ‘suck it up’ because they do not know themselves how to get there. I know we all struggle with our identity and accomplishment on some level or another, but how often do we push towards the end goal or simply take life in stride not wanting to accept any curveballs thrown.

The problem I see, is more people need to be vulnerable and accept life’s challenges, be there for others going through a similar situation and/or simply listen. My husband and I have traveled these past two years almost solo. We’ve had great people come in and out of our life advising and supporting, but when it comes down to it, we’ve been the two people at the end of the line saying, “I’m still here.” Tough circumstances can be intimidating for others and often be too much for them; almost an inconvenience and wanting to get back to the normal swing of things. This statement in and of itself is where I see my husband and I starting some sort of organization for people who need that constant support and people to journey with them all throughout. But, since we haven’t arrived at our destination yet, we will hold to that hope and know what it is that we wanted/needed while we went through it ourselves.

I don’t want to say that people haven’t volunteered their time now and again, but when you are in the fire of life hoping to come out refined, you need a constant relationship to help advise along the way. I can say we’ve had one couple who have supported us ruthlessly even when we haven’t wanted their help. I’m grateful for them and blessed to have their love and devotion to our family. This is what I am talking about. How come we want to run from problems of life? How come it’s easier to give up when you get tired, and how come we can’t remain constant for those in need?

I’m guilty of these questions as well. I long to offer my life to those around me; advise and support in all facets of life. When life gets messy, you tend to know who is there for you no matter the circumstances. It’s a true test of friendship and love. I think we all need to be reminded that God never said life was going to be easy and that we need not judge those around us. He hung out in the slums, treated those who are lesser than us with highest acceptance. Why do we want life to be so perfect and without inconveniences? Your life will be anything but that, as long as you keep running from it.

We all have our own junk in life that needs to be dealt with. We need honest relationships, real relationships and an extraordinary life. You’ve all heard me say many times to live a life extraordinary and not simply ordinary. Do you honestly believe you can achieve the extraordinary life without coming along people, sharing your struggles as well and not pretending? Relationships are difficult. Friends, relationships are DIFFICULT. They will only blossom when you put in what you want to get out.

Thanks to: www.suitqaisdiaries.com

Thanks to: www.suitqaisdiaries.com

So, with all of that, the million dollar question still remains in tangible form. What will bring me pure happiness. I can express the deep love and joy Christ has to offer each and every one of us but I think we need to step back and simply look at the relationships we hold with people and how we treat one another. The deeper issue will remain; we all need Christ, but on the surface we can’t have that deep relationship with Christ if we aren’t willing to get dirty and join our friends in the slums.

I can’t provide the answers I long to provide for my husband and our family, but I can help support and pray that God opens many doors and opens them soon. I also pray that our eyes would be open to the hardship knowing we are here for a reason. What we need to learn right now in this season is something I do not want to miss out on. I want that extraordinary life for my family and if that means we are in the fire to come out beyond refined, than by all means, let’s do it. I do not want the busy life that passes by without meaning and worth!

Moment of Truth: What friends do you enjoy being with when life is good? Do you hear the selfishness in that question? We all must give to those without expectation of what you can earn out of it. Life is difficult and will continue to be difficult. Do not dwell on the hardship but take the hardship and bring beauty from it. Help those around you without feeling inconvenienced. Be the love of Christ, not the love of our own flesh!

Never Ending Roller Coaster

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 8 April, 2014 None comments

Just when you think life may have slowed down just for a day, you become utterly wrong. “Why try and make life slow down,” I think to myself. This has been the longest, quickest two years of my marriage. I never knew what I signed up for when life took hold of our family. It’s the continual surprises that tend to wear me down and unfortunately, they are not all good surprises.

As you all know, my mother-in-law who is sick and terminally ill has led this life of a roller coaster with her health and emotions the past three weeks. I don’t think she fully understands it as the days keep ticking away, but her loved ones definitely feel the twist and pull, up and down, side to side, jerk of emotions from good to bad, better to worse and so on and so forth!

Thanks to sourcewire.com

Thanks to sourcewire.com

After the storm of last week, I have been yearning for a break in “rain” come today. That happened for the first 3 hours and once I contacted my mother-in-laws husband, I was informed pretty quickly that this roller coaster turned a corner that once again yanked our heads from one side to the next. Hearing the words that her lungs are filling with fluid and her blood pressure is all over the place was definitely discouraging. We have neared the end and simply do not know how to prepare for this particular “slap in the face.” A cold drink of water continues to awake our sleepy eyes.

It seems that this roller coaster of life is never ending and I can vividly see the ground from up above, upside down and one crank to the next keeping us on our toes as much as possible. I finally reached my peak last week, I couldn’t keep it in any longer, my body decided to allow a nasty cold in, keeping me awake at night and coughing through the day. I haven’t been sick in months, yet when my body seems to be so worn, I still fight through them but this cold, this one hit me hard. The emotional battle of trying to be strong for my husband while he loses his mother has been everything but strong for me. I’ve tried but after last week, I hit a wall and have been an emotional basket case since.

I long to help support my husband, but how do you simply give the proper words when there is no changing the past nor the present. The past haunts my husband from childhood to his 35 year old body dreading the phone call of this wretched outcome. 27 years wasted? I don’t think so! I believe from the depths of my soul that everything happens for a reason. It is not always joyful, but God DOES use everything for the good of those who love Him. Through tragedy and pain, my husbands 27 years of non-relation with his mother, was everything but a waste. I believe this wholeheartedly even though it may not make sense right now. The little knowledge we’ve been given has been beneficial. Healing is taking place in some facet or another. My husband is allowing himself to grieve not only losing his mother, but losing her a second time.

The first time, he lost her was when he was put in foster care at age 8. 27 years later, he’s now losing her to cancer. The horrible feeling of losing a parent alone is beyond description, yet this is his second parent. He lost his dad at age 8. I know we all travel this life with a story and we can use our story for glory or for pain.

The roller coaster that simply will NOT end, I pray will be used for God’s glory!

Moment of Truth: My husband is learning more than he can see at this moment in time. This tragedy has mended relationships, opened the door for healing and brought about as much positive influence one can have in a time such as this. I am proud of my husband, he is a tough guy yet so tender on the inside. Crack that shell and you have a pile of mush longing for peace and joy. I pray for that exact thing to be laid upon my husband at this very moment. I love you Michael John!

Moment of the Day

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 27 March, 2014 1 comments

This was a precious little moment that simply made my day brighter!

Something about these tiny little shoes on the large floor simply made me smile as I love the spring colors and my little man who wears them. I was remembering when I was pregnant and folding the first load of baby clothes and how little the newborn outfits were. I remember my husband and I envisioning what those moments would look like once he was in the precious little clothes. Here we are now almost 2 years later and I’m still shocked when I see the little things spread out upon the floor. His cute little tootsies and chubby little fingers are the little things I rejoice in.

image

I am thankful for my little man and blessed to have him healthy as a horse. I couldn’t ask for a better child and a better two years with him. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time with him as he becomes a little toddler officially within the next three months. I am thankful and blessed that I can stay home with him and give him all the hugs and kisses he so deserves.

Thanks little Cooper for being my little baby to hold and snuggle so dear! Thanks to my amazing husband for allowing me to stay home with him as this is one of the biggest blessings I could ask for! Love you both beyond words can describe.