Tag Archives: forgiveness

Thought of the Day

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 12 June, 2014 None comments

“Forgiveness is not a feeling but a decision to release that person to Christ.”

Need I say more? I shouldn’t’ have to but due to our innate human quality of pride and bitterness, it is always a good reminder to forgive your neighbor and love with Christ’s love. It’s easy to get caught up in our own little world feeling justified for the life we live.

forgivenessI realized yesterday when talking with my husband that life can be full of promises and you can have the world at your fingertips, but what does it matter when you choose to dwell on the past and not move ahead? Sometimes we get so caught up in the mundane of life that we forget the blessings we are currently holding and the blessings taking place today, tomorrow and the next.

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Life is a blessing! Embrace it and do not let your blessings be overlooked by worthless concern. Sometimes our worries are so small but the shadow is so enlarged we lose focus.

Read more at: Forgiveness Breeds Bitterness or Forgiveness 

Forgiveness

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 23 April, 2014 None comments

Just when I think I’ve lost every drop of grace I have inside me and want to give up and move on, a song comes on in the background: 7×70 times by Chris August. If you haven’t heard it, then you must listen to it.

7×70

Although my night and many of them did not go as planned, I feel like this was the straw that broke the camels back. Not quite sure how to handle the situation I’ve just encountered but knowing it’s anything but good. I decided to ignore it in hopes that I wont have to deal with it anymore this evening. While in the kitchen making my husbands lunch this song came on and in mid thought interrupted me. “What am I supposed to do? The situation isn’t good, but that doesn’t mean I can’t forgive but it also doesn’t mean I keep continuing to be trampled on. So how Lord do I stop and forgive and where do I go from here?” The questions filled my mind while trying to concentrate on lunch making. “Forgive? How Lord?” I am trying to rationalize my thoughts, “How do you not forgive, I’ve forgiven you and all my children even when they continue down destructive paths, you must forgive and I will show you how.” This is what I hear as I am filling up with anger now that I’ve allowed myself to actually think through some of the facts. Okay, if the Lord is asking me to forgive than I must exercise this and allow the Lord to help me forgive. My anger must subside!

Thanks to uppercasewoman.com

Thanks to uppercasewoman.com

I’ve had the conversation many times with my husband that when you dwell on the negative it breeds a negative attitude and now is my opportunity to take my own advice. My routine when I become angry and feel justified is to pray for wisdom. Ask the Lord for the next hour to speak through my words or actions. Then I ask for grace; giving me grace to see the positive through the negative circumstances. Friends, this works! I am living proof of it. My perspective has change 180 degrees only by taking these small steps and my response has had a greater impact. Do not be fooled, it is not easy what-so-ever but it takes discipline and exercising faith to want to change bad habits. If you desire something enough, you will strive for that success.

Now forgiving doesn’t always mean staying in the same circumstances. The line needs to be drawn depending on each individual situation. I wasn’t asking to encounter this situation nor will I ever again. Forgiving can still occur even when tolerance doesn’t. My tolerance level is 100% depleted. When this song came on 7×70 times, I was struck by the simple fact that it doesn’t matter the circumstances, you simply forgive. We begin basing our forgiveness on selfish gain, how many times have you been wronged, how many times have you deserved better than that, how many times? How many times? How many times? These are selfish questions that bring about a negative, deserving attitude; the proper question needs to come from the Lord; “help me Lord to forgive with your grace and without expectations?”

By changing our thoughts and perspective we can begin to take those small steps to genuine love and forgiveness EVEN when others don’t deserve it.

I think it’s so important to address this issue as forgiveness is a daily battle and sometimes an hourly battle. Those of you with kids, spouses, and rocky family relationships or friendships all understand that this becomes a choice. If you don’t choose forgiveness your anger and resentment will turn your heart to stone. Strive to become the person people enjoy being around rather then wishing you away because you are emotionally draining!

Forgiveness

Moment of Truth: Sometimes we walk paths that are unexpected and continue to throw road blocks at us. We have the choice to continue to walk or stop and allow these road blocks to hinder any further growth. Don’t settle for ordinary. Choose extraordinary and seek forgiveness no matter the cost! Choose abundant life no matter if you choose it alone! God is here to help, BUT you must ask and wait.

Forgiveness Breeds Bitterness

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 3 March, 2014 None comments

F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N-E-S-S

The weight of this word is immensely draining, powerful and liberating. Each of us are in one of these categories. Forgiving to some people may force you to believe that what that person has done to you has now been excused and justified because you took the step to forgive. It seems almost impossible to forgive when they have destroyed you to the core. Unforgiving hearts hold rage and bitterness that grabs ahold of your heartstrings convincing you that they deserve to be treated poorly now that they have wronged you. Ask yourself this: what power does this hold over your life by not forgiving them?  Maybe pride, arrogance, control, or selfishness? Really you’ve gained nothing but a bitter heart.

For others, maybe forgiving comes really easy to you. You understand we all make mistakes, we let others down from time to time and we all need forgiveness to help move ahead in life

And for the remainder of you, you may be somewhere in between.  Feeling you are a forgiving person only to realize days, months and years later you never really dealt with it and truly forgave them. Now you find it comes up in ways you never expected, leaving you angry that years have passed by and you really haven’t moved ahead.

I’ve seen bitterness take root in a few people and the depths of the anger has been extremely astonishing to me how deep the bitterness resides within them. It’s scary to me how much blame is poured on those around them unwilling to accept responsibility for ones own actions truly believing that they are entirely innocent. Unforgiving hearts lead to immense anger and blame and at that point it gets scary!

Forgiveness is very challenging and can vary depending on the depth in which you’ve been wronged.  You know, Christ was the ultimate sacrifice; forgiving the very men who spat on Him, beat Him, tantalized Him,  and even crucified Him. After reminding yourself of this, how than can you justify not forgiving your enemy?  Forgiving does NOT mean they haven’t sinned against you or that they are right in their actions and are free to continue to treat you poorly. Forgiveness must come from Christ allowing him to heal your heart of the pain that comes with it and without expecting something in return. You are NOT responsible for them or for their actions, you must forgive to continue to grow your own heart and walk with Christ free of guilt and shame, free of bitterness and anger.

Thanks to thiskalidescopeheartofmine.com

Thanks to thiskaleidescopeheartofmine.com

Moment of Truth: Who have you not forgiven that you know needs your forgiveness? If you are struggling with the pain from this person, seek the Lord and ask for help to forgive them without holding expectations that they will become someone different; someone who treats you properly. Ask for guidance to become the person God has created you to be without holding a grudge on your loving enemies.

Who I used to be…

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 28 February, 2014 None comments

I was remembering today of who I used to be. As a child all growing up I held so tightly to my mistakes. When I would get in trouble with my parents for some reason I could not forgive myself afterwards. I held on to the guilt and shame of my selfish desires not finding release even after my parents forgave me, hugged me and told me they loved me. Something deeply rooted in me simply couldn’t move past my worldly sin. It didn’t matter where or what we were doing, I held my attitude so closely it became my best friend. I hated myself for it, but I couldn’t seem to let go. I would ruin the entire day over something so small because “gosh darn-it I messed up so the day is ruined.” These were my thoughts and my actions as a small child.

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Yes, this was me as a child!

I was a very determined child and still am very determined. My mother used to say “determination is a very good thing when used in the right way.” I would get so red in the face because clearly I wasn’t using it properly at the time.

Fortunately, what I know now is that I constantly mess up, say the wrong thing and put my wants above anyone else. Selfishness is rooted deep within all of us. I couldn’t grasp this concept when I was younger.

I’m not quite sure when I learned to let go of my sin, what’s been done is done and to let go and not ruin the rest of the day. Asking for forgiveness is the first step. To be honest I may have dealt with this since I was 26 years old. I’m not sure if getting pregnant or giving my life to Christ was that magical point in time. I do know they probably are correlated.

This previous memory had been forgotten, tucked away in one of the many boxes of life that was to be dealt with, moved on and left behind. Today it really hit me hard how deep our sin takes us and the choices that come from our sin. I’ve learned being married and having a child that I sin throughout the day as that is part of our “makeup.” The joy within this is the great peace and forgiveness Christ has lavished upon us. We are His children and He is ours. He is our Father! He forgives and forgets unlike us.

As I look back pondering these moments from my childhood, I am beyond thankful and blessed that when I lay my head on my pillow at night regretting the little battles I picked with Cooper or the attitude I struck up with my husband, I know I can forgive myself and allow a new day to come.  Letting go of my shame and guilt and most of all reminding myself that God forgives me and continue to learn how to accept this great gift. The joy of remembering this distance challenge that at one point controlled my life is now but a memory.

Moment of Truth: Take a piece of your past that you continue to struggle with and allow God to come in and wash it away. Forgive yourself knowing Christ has already forgiven you! Now that’s a blessing within itself.