Tag Archives: family

Silver Falls

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 25 June, 2014 None comments

We went to Silver Falls a couple weeks ago and couldn’t have asked for a better day. It was BEAUTIFUL and the best weather possible. We had such a good time and Cooper couldn’t have been more entertained. Cooper has an obsession with water and this was exactly what he needed to keep him more than entertained. He kept asking for “more wa.”

This was the first waterfall we came upon. It was beautiful and a very short little walk.

We decided to walk towards the large falls and see what was in store for us. As we walked along the way this was the calm part before the storm, or shall I say the enormous waterfall that laid ahead. Cooper enjoyed slapping the cool water while his little brain soaked in the beautiful scenery.

Finally we approached the enormous waterfall that began to get really loud the closer you got. It was a huge fall and with my fear of heights, I had to keep my eyes ahead, not down.

As we got closer I noticed the walk behind the fall that you can embark on. I was terrified as it looks very narrow and deathly from here. I kept telling Michael he can walk it if he so desired while Cooper and I stay behind. But as we got closer the path was very wide and actually really incredible.

Here’s Michael walking ahead to test it out!

This is the view from behind the fall. We made it! It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It was incredible. Unfortunately it was also extremely loud. It sounded as if I jet engine was taking off right above you. Cooper’s little ears began to hurt so we quickly walked through after a few photos.

This is from the other side. We kept walking as we wanted a good solid hike and boy was this beautiful every step of the way.

Headed back to the car hungry and thirsty, my little man stood in the trunk eating his yogurt and filling his tired little body up with nutrients.

He crashed out on the drive home, sweet baby had such a good time!

Zoo Bliss

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 5 June, 2014 None comments

We went to the zoo during Memorial weekend and had the best weather possible. Not too hot, not too cold and NOT too many people. It was fabulous. Although Cooper loved the large Seal, he was more interested in the construction taking place to enlarge the Elephants area. Our son loves tractors and trucks more than words can describe. He lights up like a Christmas tree and wont stop shouting “trac-or, truck” until you finally repeat him and acknowledge you see it as well!

In the midst of all the construction going on, he did enjoy betting the little pygmy goats.

Standing in the back of a Safari Truck…
Daddy and me time!

Cooper taking us on a wild safari ride.

Enjoying the large “fish” or seal.

“Trac-or, Trac-or” Loving the construction.

Who would have thought that in the midst of all the construction you would have a good time with your son? I didn’t think it would be that enjoyable as the tractors were everywhere but I quickly forgot how much Cooper is obsessed with tractors and could watch them all day if given the opportunity. We had a really good time, he enjoyed himself and hopefully one day my little man can sit in a tractor with his Papa.

Funeral Service

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 30 April, 2014 1 comments

The emotional roller coaster hit the tippy-top yesterday when we went to the funeral for my mother-in-law. The emotions filled our eyes as we were at the gravesite burying her ashes. The mixed emotion of laying ashes underground is always perplexing to my soul. I understand our souls live on but the concept of burying a loved one in the earth is a weird concept to me.

This was a very emotional beginning of the day for my husband. As we proceeded on to the memorial service at our church, I was beyond grateful for the women who put it all together. Their gracious hands helped make the room look incredible and the food taste delectable. It is a blessing to truly have a church step up and be the body of Christ as we are supposed to be. This was a true testament to our faith and church!

My husband was filled with sadness as we observed the photos and displays all around the room while they prepped the slideshow and music before the service started. It was a reality check to have my husband burry his mother and realize his estranged parents are no longer with us. This past month has brought years of history to surface and questions longing to be answered that no longer will hold an answer. The confusion, anger, hurt and sadness fills his broken soul.

Before the service began, we met an incredible amount of family that we never knew existed let alone lived in our backyard. They are all incredibly nice but what does it all mean? What relationships will form, if any? Are they willing to reach out and be there as family should? Why hadn’t they in the past? The questions fill our minds as the overwhelming meet-and-greet took place. The service itself was well done and emotional. The hard part for us as the new comers, is the fact that her career was the most important thing to her. My husband longed for a piece of that importance. Longed to know her as her co-workers did and longed for her to be his mother for years prior. This longing and desire is no longer able to be met. The hardship of hearing the stories sunk to the pit of our tummies as colleague upon colleague shared stories.

The bad comes with the good. We had three months of really good conversations and getting to know one another on a deeper level, but three months compared to a life time is a blink of an eye. The past 35 years flashed before my husbands eyes posing a lot of pain and heartache that he is left to figure out. This has been a complex puzzle for him and we long to finish it so our kids do not have to travel the same path. Breaking generational sin, hurt and abandonment is our utmost desire.

Although we are incredibly grateful for the three months, it’s been anything but easy. Praying for a difference and healing in my husband is the deepest desire for me as his wife. Knowing I can do absolutely nothing but pray for him is a difficult task but a refreshing task. God has it under control and it’s not my control!

As the days proceed, I hope healing comes and I hope relationships continue. We will see what lies ahead and hope the Lord brings grace upon is as this past three months and more so the past month has been utterly exhausting.

Moment of Truth: I’m learning to grasp the reality of “now” rather than past and future. Holding to what is current and rolling with the punches will help calm the storm we’ve entered and are hoping to be exiting now. As the days progress and my husband deals with the new “normal,” I pray I have the words and wisdom to provide when necessary.

Enough is Enough

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 25 April, 2014 None comments

As a mom you know the little joys that take place all throughout the day, or perhaps you know the little annoyances that are testing your patience. I’ve longed to be a mom for as long as I could remember. I used to play with my water baby who seemed so real and would pretend she was my child. She my baby and I was going to take her anywhere and everywhere with me. Where I got this notion, I’m not too sure, but I do know it has been a longing since I can remember putting the white jammies with little red hearts on her saying I would care for her as long as I lived.

Becoming a parent for me, happened entirely different than I had dreamt of. I thought I would get married and fall helplessly in love, travel and be the happiest family on the face of this earth. I did fall in love and I do travel with my family, but it didn’t happen in the order I had scheduled on my agenda. I got pregnant after knowing my husband for a short 6 months to only test the boundaries of love and what that meant for the little child within my belly. We decided to take the plunge and get married two months prior to our little bundle of joy entering this world. We traveled within three months of him being born and still do. We’ve made it work, it hasn’t been easy but we’ve accomplished the unthinkable. It’s been a long journey, there are days you think it would be easier to run away and give up. There are moments of wondering who my spouse truly is amongst the crying and laughter filling the house. There are moments of curiosity: will my husband and I get along without the babe around? Will we learn the depths of one another’s soul even with a toddlers pitter-patter running rampant throughout the house. These are all questions that are posed in the midst of falling in love and creating love all at the same time. But when the end of the day hits, I am blessed and thankful!

There are many challenges to starting life the way my husband and I did. But, there are many joys and blessings that we wouldn’t have, had we not go pregnant and married. The pure bliss of our family is a blessing no matter the hardship that has occurred. You have to be willing to accept the difficult times along with the good. Fighting for your marriage no matter the cost. Choosing to get to know your spouse on a deeper level whenever possible. Choosing to let your family be your life!

These are all things I’ve chosen to accept knowing that it will not be easy. My husband and I have officially been married for two years now as of this month. We look back and thank one another for being there through all the challenges we’ve had. We’ve gone through A LOT within those two years battling cancer, death, my health, my sons hospitalizations, extended family drama and addictions as well as every day life. I firmly believe if we can make it through that, we can make it through anything. We’ve dealt with more than we bargained for and have chosen to accept it and keep learning and growing with one another. I love my husband beyond description. I know he was meant for me since the day we were born. There are so many positives amongst the challenges and often, we overlook the good.

Two people come from entirely different pasts, and that is a loaded guns as is. :) When you deal with extended family there are many things that encompass “family.” Good and bad. Relating to one another looks different than how my husband grew up. I grew up extremely conservative while he grew up in a family of immense wealth and prestige. He also grew up with very little love and acceptance and dealing with things a young child should never have to deal with. Bringing his family and past into our marriage was a handful for me just as much as the love and extreme communication in my family was a challenge for him. Our idea of a family looked different. We have had to learn to adapt and grow with what we’ve learned throughout life and mesh together our new “normal.”

With all of that to say, sometimes I get caught up in the mundane of life and say “enough is enough!” Forgetting how far we have come, home many more years of love and growth we have with one another, more traveling, more living and more being! Enough is enough when I have lost every ounce of patience with a crying child throwing temper tantrums and becoming severely dehydrated and being hospitalized all in the same week of losing my mother-in-law. Feeling I have to hold everything together, I do my best to not fall apart. I reached the end of myself last week three days before we left town for vacation. Realizing that I wouldn’t have the love of my husband and son had we not taken the road we are on. With all the hardship and patience being worn, that’s all because I am married and have a little munchkin to share my life with. The little moments outweigh the challenging moments. Life keeps ticking away and the hours keep fading, but what still remains is my family of three. I’m thankful I do not have to embark on this life alone. I’m thankful I have a husband who comes home every night, I’m thankful I have a family to share dinner with and cook for. I’m thankful for the laughter that fills my home while my husband and son play. I’m thankful to travel with my husband alone and get to know him even more than I already do. I am thankful and blessed for the little things. Enough IS enough! I have enough and am blessed to have enough! I have the little giggles, I have the little hugs and struggle to enunciate the beginnings of his vocabulary. The incredible knowledge this little man holds is enough for my soul. I have enough with my husband. The moments together of laughter and holding one another, the planning of our future. The talk of more children. Cooking romantic meals for one another and simply being together is enough!

Sometimes mommy cannot be and do everything for the family. We tend to take on this role and try to fulfill the families desires, simply forgetting that we are an individual as well. We take on the roles of wife, mommy, housekeeper, taxi driver, chef, accountant and much more forgetting I am still Me without all the titles. Embrace the titles you hold! Without your family you wouldn’t have these titles. Sometimes they become draining but they are more exciting than having no titles and being needed by those you love. We are needed as a wife and mommy and through the constant questions and nagging, you are needed and have enough! At the end of the day, my frustrations and lack of patience is and will continue to diminish as I embrace the positive in having enough.

Here is an article that I saw this morning and thought it was beyond a good reminder on why we wear all the hats of being a wife and mom. It’s the little things that last; chores and cleaning will always remain but our little munchkins grow up!

Enough is Enough-Read this article to remind you of why you choose to be a mom and a wife!

Moment of Truth: Embrace the day for the simple fact that you are needed to help supply the needs of your family. You are needed to create the relationships and security between your family and you are the biggest blessing to your family. Embrace the little kisses, hugs and words that are uttered from your rug rats and embrace the welcome home kiss from your husband after his long day at work. Embrace the family dinners and family walks together. Embrace life; enough is enough!

The Million Dollar Question

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 18 April, 2014 None comments

This morning I had a conversation with my husband before work about his job and his happiness. This has become a very frequent conversation as of lately. The million dollar question still remains unanswered; “what will make me happy?” It’s not about the money for him, it’s not about anything but enjoying what he is doing and being successful at it. Does that mean you stay in the same career but in a different position or simply change fields all together? The many questions remain. How to narrow down the answers for the unknown is almost impossible.

As a wife, my biggest problem is wanting to solve this issue knowing I can’t create the perfect job for him that he would love to attend everyday. The struggle of helping him, supporting him, and making a plan with him is extremely challenging for me as I can not create his happiness. I know he turns to me because he wants me to help solve this situation as well and I can’t. It’s a tough position to be in and I wish I could answer that million dollar question.

From an outside perspective, even though I’m not truly on the outside, I can see that some things take more time than we would like. I know answers will come, I know he will gain an interest in what he really wants to do and I know ultimately, he will begin to see more clearly. He’s had a whirlwind of events take place the last couple years but as of frequent, the last three months. The problem isn’t only his job, it’s life. He has battled relationships and abandonment with his mother while reconnecting with her only to lose her a second time and this time for good. He got married and had a baby within months and since then, life has only sped up. There has been no roadmap along the way.

We find ourselves here two years later only to say “wow!” These past two years have encompassed more than we bargained for yet we still can’t believe it’s only been two years all at the same time. Learning how to be married, be parents, and live life while finding our identity is anything but easy. I think most often people tend to dismiss the tough questions in life and tell you to ‘suck it up’ because they do not know themselves how to get there. I know we all struggle with our identity and accomplishment on some level or another, but how often do we push towards the end goal or simply take life in stride not wanting to accept any curveballs thrown.

The problem I see, is more people need to be vulnerable and accept life’s challenges, be there for others going through a similar situation and/or simply listen. My husband and I have traveled these past two years almost solo. We’ve had great people come in and out of our life advising and supporting, but when it comes down to it, we’ve been the two people at the end of the line saying, “I’m still here.” Tough circumstances can be intimidating for others and often be too much for them; almost an inconvenience and wanting to get back to the normal swing of things. This statement in and of itself is where I see my husband and I starting some sort of organization for people who need that constant support and people to journey with them all throughout. But, since we haven’t arrived at our destination yet, we will hold to that hope and know what it is that we wanted/needed while we went through it ourselves.

I don’t want to say that people haven’t volunteered their time now and again, but when you are in the fire of life hoping to come out refined, you need a constant relationship to help advise along the way. I can say we’ve had one couple who have supported us ruthlessly even when we haven’t wanted their help. I’m grateful for them and blessed to have their love and devotion to our family. This is what I am talking about. How come we want to run from problems of life? How come it’s easier to give up when you get tired, and how come we can’t remain constant for those in need?

I’m guilty of these questions as well. I long to offer my life to those around me; advise and support in all facets of life. When life gets messy, you tend to know who is there for you no matter the circumstances. It’s a true test of friendship and love. I think we all need to be reminded that God never said life was going to be easy and that we need not judge those around us. He hung out in the slums, treated those who are lesser than us with highest acceptance. Why do we want life to be so perfect and without inconveniences? Your life will be anything but that, as long as you keep running from it.

We all have our own junk in life that needs to be dealt with. We need honest relationships, real relationships and an extraordinary life. You’ve all heard me say many times to live a life extraordinary and not simply ordinary. Do you honestly believe you can achieve the extraordinary life without coming along people, sharing your struggles as well and not pretending? Relationships are difficult. Friends, relationships are DIFFICULT. They will only blossom when you put in what you want to get out.

Thanks to: www.suitqaisdiaries.com

So, with all of that, the million dollar question still remains in tangible form. What will bring me pure happiness. I can express the deep love and joy Christ has to offer each and every one of us but I think we need to step back and simply look at the relationships we hold with people and how we treat one another. The deeper issue will remain; we all need Christ, but on the surface we can’t have that deep relationship with Christ if we aren’t willing to get dirty and join our friends in the slums.

I can’t provide the answers I long to provide for my husband and our family, but I can help support and pray that God opens many doors and opens them soon. I also pray that our eyes would be open to the hardship knowing we are here for a reason. What we need to learn right now in this season is something I do not want to miss out on. I want that extraordinary life for my family and if that means we are in the fire to come out beyond refined, than by all means, let’s do it. I do not want the busy life that passes by without meaning and worth!

Moment of Truth: What friends do you enjoy being with when life is good? Do you hear the selfishness in that question? We all must give to those without expectation of what you can earn out of it. Life is difficult and will continue to be difficult. Do not dwell on the hardship but take the hardship and bring beauty from it. Help those around you without feeling inconvenienced. Be the love of Christ, not the love of our own flesh!

The Loss of a Loved One

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 10 April, 2014 None comments

My mother-in-law passed away this past Monday at 5:05 pm at the ripe age of 60. The phone call I dreaded for months that was about to hit, finally hit and hit hard. The reality that you simply can’t prepare to lose someone is a cold, slap in the face. I wasn’t too sure what to expect and how it all would unfold and unfortunately, I became the bearer of bad news. I was the one responsible to tell my husband and I was the one responsible on deciding when it would be best to deliver this news.

Being the keeper of this knowledge for almost 2 hours before he got home was extremely painful. I kept a smile on my face as much as possible for my sweet little son that has no clue what’s going on except a lot of crying from mommy and daddy the past five days….and now this! He is incredible but unfortunately he knows something is wrong but can’t express it; sweet child.

At the hospital trying to entertain my son…

My husband was late from work, walked in the door and I lost it. I apologized over and over for the bad news I was bringing but explained that I didn’t know how else to release it. I was positive a phone call wasn’t going to be good, finding out at work wasn’t a good idea and lastly, I didn’t want him driving after finding out either. The emotions welled up inside him and tears began to flow. My sweet husband had just lost his second parent at the ripe age of 35.

My poor husband!!!

How does one manage these feelings, how do you compartmentalize the sweet sorrow and release of her passing away? Bringing him back to foster care and being a young boy weeping for his mommy when he found out his daddy had passed away is right where he is today. 27 years later weeping and mourning the loss of his father and now his mother. The painful tears steam down his face.

Today he expressed to me the pain he is feeling and the continual reminder of feeling utterly numb just as he did sitting on the top bunk bed while in foster care when his daddy died. The tearful moments that fill his soul randomly and without warning break my heart. Knowing I am helpless and can not take away the pain is excruciatingly hard. These are moments of utter helplessness. Being present and loving on him only goes so far; this is years of pain and lack of relationship that has come to a head. He will never get another moment of time spent with her until he reaches heaven. The reality of this is very sobering. His hard shell has such a tender inside. He has had to learn how to get through life without ANY guidance bringing about that tough outer shell, but when you reach the middle, and rarely people do, he is a tender soul full of gooey emotion. :)

Day two has been difficult and more of a reality than day one. Yesterday we spent the entire day with Marlin, her husband. We were by his side grieving together. It was good for all of us but somehow the days keep ticking by and reality to deal with the pain sets in. How to begin the healing process is entirely different from her husband, sisters, and friends. Everyone in their own way has to deal with the loss her life. But my husband has to deal with the loss her for a second time. The first time he lost her was 27 years ago when placed in foster care, the pain and emotion that stems from that is insurmountable. Then three months ago being brought back into her life to only loose her just over three months later is a painful experience as well. What he had these last three months was incredible but it got torn from him in an instant begging for numerous questions to be answered that never will.

Here we are today and I am trying to hold on to the last moments we shared together as a family knowing a new life is beginning. What that looks like is entirely unknown. There is a whole family out there that we have never known or been apart of. How will this look, will relationships continue? Only time can lead us and guide us in the steps we currently walk. I beg the Lord for healing for my husband; peaceful healing. I also ask for a life that he can pinpoint back to this very moment knowing it changed his life forever and for the good.

Moment of Truth: Our God is powerful and I ask for His will to be done in our lives. I know it is painful, but through the ashes brings beauty. We often can’t learn and grow without trials of this life. I pray for my husband’s soul to be tender towards the Lord and not harness anger and bitterness. Lord, bring an incredible life for my husband to walk knowing where he came from! ~Amen

The Juice Detox Begins…

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 1 March, 2014 None comments

Ten days of juicing has officially begun…my husband has decided to take a detox including only fruits and vegetables. Seeing as he is doing this and I am the cook around here, I kind of began the detox as well since that’s what is being eaten and I am his biggest supporter. I don’t want to be mean and cook tasty treats while he’s around. And naturally having a lot of fruit in the house, that’s what I gravitate to. I wasn’t necessarily desiring to do this detox but I pretty much stick to it besides breaking the detox at lunch for some carbs in a sandwich or with eggs and toast. I feed Cooper his usual meals but we all drink the shakes and come dinner we all eat veggies and fruit in some fashion or another.

Drinking smoothies and eating vegetables as well as cooking them and eating them raw seems to get old. You can only make them taste so different without using seasonings that include sodium. The shakes are the best flavor and tend to fill us up pretty well. Although when you cut everything out of your diet that quickly, you begin cravings pretty instantaneously and not only are you cravings a juicy steak but the unhealthy fatty fast food burgers and fries. Trying to fight those temptations while you are eating sautéed Brussels sprouts and mushrooms is not an easy task.

So today I set out to find something tasty for dinner tonight and succeeded. I decided to make homemade black beans for a bean burrito bowl minus the tortilla. Yay for something more filling and not just a typical bowl of sautéed veggies.

We are currently on day three….it’s progressing but there are seven days remaining. How will my husband handle the next few days? Will he cheat on his detox now that the weekend has come? Stay tuned and see what happens….