Tag Archives: Addictions

When addictions enter in, it will rule someone’s entire life; marriage, work, friendship, motivation, personal growth, children and ultimately self. This reality will ruin a person and/or those around them. An addiction can come in any sense of the word: drugs, alcohol, money, pride, food, sex and gambling just to name a few. Manipulation usually goes hand in hand with an addiction as most addicts can’t accept responsibility for themselves. I must preface this with the reality that I am not a psychologist but do see things as I have experienced life and have taken many classes in psychology as my degree is in counseling. I am not a professional but I have seen many people struggle through deep depression and insecurity while they try to mask their pain with what we call “habits.”

I have struggled myself with anxiety and fear of failure. When I was younger I always wanted to be accepted no matter the cost. I thought being “cool” was the way of life. I think every child to some degree or another longs to be accepted, it’s how they ‘earn’ their acceptance that is challenging. I’ve heard the prevalence of drugs and alcohol being the way of high school acceptance these days. The main struggle I see is how the parents relationship with one another directly impacts our children on many levels but especially self-confidence. What they see and how they feel at home is what they will strive for with their friends. Now, there is the exception that children also have an immense amount of peer pressure as well that they succumb to on their own, it isn’t always due to parenting. There is a distinction that needs to be clarified. Kids need to learn what life is truly about and need parents to be solid in their foundation to guide appropriately the road of life for their children. Our relationship as parents and husband and wife are the foundation for our children. What they see is what they will learn. Not what they hear. We all know actions speak louder than words.

I am very passionate about our children and the environment they are raised in. I have seen terrible childhoods as well as excellent childhoods. A child’s early years will form their beliefs about life later in adulthood. We all say at some point or another “I will never do that when I am older as that is what my parents said or did.” But unfortunately the reality is we will become what we despise from our childhood unless we strive to change those predispositions. What we see is who we become unless we choose to actively dispute those attitudes or ideas. The Bible even talks about generational sin, we will continue our generational sin or ‘habits’ if we don’t daily strive against it. What do you want your children to say of you when they are older? What good traits are you hoping to pass down and what traits are you praying they never take on? Pursue what is pure.

Addictions affect our families more than anyone or anything else. Our families are the people we spend the most time with and they see the depths of our true colors. Unfortunately some addictions are subtle and become manipulation rather than the deeper issue; the addiction itself. The reason I believe manipulation goes hand in hand with addictions is because people who are addicted to something are in self-denial. When you are in self-denial you tend to blame everyone else for the deep battles within yourself. Addictions or no addictions we all want to blame other people for their actions instead of accept responsibility that our actions affect our family and friends.

What keeps racing through my mind through all of the heartache in the world is ‘not to waste my life.’ What does this look like when heartache is staring you down, filling your soul and attempting to triumph over your life? How do we strive to live a happy life learning from our regrets? Letting history remain as history and allowing the present and future to be created with self-confidence, battling the demons inside of us and not ignoring them. Lets allow friends and family to be our accountability rather than them become our defense.

Throw out past regrets, anger and resentment and ask the Lord to bring about healing so you may live a life that’s fulfilling to Christ. “Seek and you will find.”

Sometimes my husband tells me I’m really hard on him and without actually saying it I am saying “suck it up.” He is right, sometimes I get so caught up with the “junk” when in reality I’d rather not dwell in it but suck it up myself, deal with it and move on. Life is exhausting in and of itself trying to maintain relationships as well as working through our own junk. But through the last couple years I’ve physically seen the grace of God through many circumstances in my life that I’ve been learning life isn’t worth dwelling on the problems. I want to live a life that is extraordinary and not simply ordinary. I have learned how to better manage dealing with the “wheelbarrow” of junk we carry around as my life has seemed to become wasted when I let past experiences rule my life rather than basking in the joy God has blessed us with and push forward instead of looking back.

Moment of Truth: I heard it recently said that in the middle of the battle while you continue to press forward to fight the battle, you have your shield every step of the way protecting you. The moment you turn around in hesitation, your protection has now disappeared, defeating the purpose of your shield. The same goes for God. God is there protecting us as we walk through the battlefield but the moment we choose to fight our own way, our shield is lost.