Nothing Is Wasted

This song was sent to me by my mom this afternoon while I was sharing how I am really struggling with the current circumstances in life right now. We are having sewer problems in our new house, my battery light in my car came on today while we are trying to sell it, my husband’s current circumstances, and being new parents and newly married still interfere with our everyday lives. It’s a very tough spot to be in when there is nothing, absolutely nothing you can do to change it. Literally in the midst of the fire being refined; rather than sitting back and letting life pass me by and letting it “be wasted.”

This song was all I needed to be reminded that life is not wasted as long as we seek Jesus and his best interest for our lives. Truly gaining a perspective of who this “God” is that I claim to believe in. Life truly is not worth living if I didn’t know Jesus; it’s honestly too difficult for me at times to keep moving ahead. It’s the little things God blesses me with during the day, that reminds me that there is more to this life and more than my piddley concerns at the moment. The challenge is keeping this perspective while trucking through each day, hour, and minute.

I really struggle watching my husband completely and utterly unhappy with his career. It’s a challenge to sit back and watch him go through the depths of despair and not being able to change anything. That is simply where trust comes in. I have to believe that there is something for us as a family to learn while going through this. Life is not easy and was never promised to be easy. My only words of encouragement to my husband unfortunately are, “do what you can, to keep the best attitude as possible.” This is my only hope. We can only change our attitude because circumstances crumble around us all day, everyday.

My deepest desire is that my husband would know the depths of my love for him. I hurt and cry for him a lot recently. I wish I could change his circumstances, perspective and happiness. I can’t! I feel completely helpless and all I do is cry for him and recently have experienced physical pain watching him truck through the muck. We each have our own journey to live out; we have the opportunity to make it the best we can or we can choose to make it miserable for ourselves. I see him choosing roads I can’t believe he would choose because it only makes the path longer and more bumpy. Unfortunately we all have to battle through our own junk and learn on our own; we’ve all been there and sometimes we are always still there. I can advise all I want, but ultimately he has to see it clearly to make the decisions that are going to change for the good; I can’t do it for him. Many days throughout my life he will stand by my side and say/feel the same way as I travel that bumpy road. Even watching him, is a learning experience for me as well. Nothing goes wasted as a husband and wife travel the road of life together. We experience moments of ease, but they are quickly eclipsed by the reality of this harsh world. Everyone lives here; at some point of pain.

I guess this is all part of being married, you experience complete happiness, adventure and glorious monuments together, but at the same time you experience the deep pain, heartache and trials as well. Knowing I can only sit back and watch from the sidelines is never an easy task but a faithful task. I will stand by him through the mire and muck while he takes his journey as a 34 year old individual, husband and father. Just as I will travel my journey as a 27 year old individual, wife and mother; trusting the Lord will see us through.

Nothing is wasted! I long to live through these trials with that attitude!

Moment of Truth:

Jesus says to ask and believe with faith and we will receive. We don’t have to put in all the “what ifs” and “buts” into this truth. God will be true to His Word and I will believe in a “freedom” day for our family. The Bible says we have not because we ask not, and I think we often don’t get what we ask because we don’t truly believe. I will choose to believe today even when my heart doesn’t feel it. James chapter 1 in the bible says we must believe and not doubt, I will trust and hang on to those words and believe nothing is wasted.