When it comes to parenting only 10% is the “plan,” 90% is the parents and their consistency or lack thereof.

I saw today on the Katie Curick show about how daddy’s and mommy’s struggle with addictions whether that’s from alcohol, drugs, internet, etc. I was shocked how many moms actually turn to something to help mask the feelings they have. I think there is a massive expectation that being a mom will change your life for the good. Don’t hear me wrong, it will change your life for the good but when you are a homemaker and your toddler tells you “You’re not the boss of me” or says “no” and throws tantrums your day can get very exhausting and feelings of being unappreciated may sink in. Don’t allow those thoughts to overtake you. Or, you may be that mom who wasn’t planning on becoming a mom at all, or maybe not in the near future at least. You may be thinking you don’t “deserve this,” you still have a lot of life to live, a child wasn’t meant to happen until later.

What caught my attention even more is there was no discussion about the father. Why does the mom have to always be on her game and yet a father doesn’t? Why does the mom always know “what to do” and it’s okay for a father not to? Parenting is a team not a mom. Why is it okay for a father to drink alcohol while the mom doesn’t? This was so prevalent in the show. Men are the workers and they get to do what they want because the go to work all day, where as mom’s are a mom, so they always have to be on; their job isn’t consider as highly because they don’t earn a paycheck. My passion comes in right here. Parent’s are parents no matter their circumstance. You must step up to the responsibility. No “ifs, ands or buts.” Where is the sense of awareness coming from, what if your child needs to be rushed to the ER, is choking or simply needs to be played with and loved on? Can alcohol traumatize your child, absolutely? Why do we pretend alcohol is okay; is it because it’s so socially acceptable? My mind is baffled with how parents think its okay to “check out” for a few hours. I feel so strongly about this and would say you need to not have kids until you figure this out and if you are like my husband and I and didn’t have that choice, your child was quite a surprise, than step up and figure it out. Kids NEED our full attention and need to have their parents 100% alert all of the time. You have to become selfless when you have children, even more so than when you get married. This is a constant battle that we think “we deserve” something more. Where is this motto coming from and whose to say what we deserve. If I’m honest here, none of us deserve anything.

I don’t want to point the finger only at alcohol, but I do see the social acceptability is beyond my belief. I think people struggle deeply with alcohol as well as other things and are so naïve to the reality of this situation. I’ve seen what happens when a parent thinks it’s okay to check out; it’s not pretty! I had a conversation this morning with my girlfriend about the time we spend with our children; is it quality or quantity. You can check out by getting online, cooking, baking, drinking, or doing drugs. None of this is acceptable. I’ve seen unfortunately with our neighbors how important their “adult time” is, I choose not to partake in this activity. Being a mom is very challenging and does require strength and perseverance.

Please excuse me if I am being hard on this situation, although I don’t understand why we believe we deserve things and fight to receive it. Our time can be spent getting a pedicure, coffee, lunch, or dinner with a girlfriend, it does not need to involve alcoholic drinks. I’ve spent my time doing things I felt I deserved and now that I am a mom and a wife, I see things quite different as our roles take us to maturity whether we are ready for it or not.

Now enough of my tangent; lets get down to our schedules to help keep us feeling satisfied with out lives as mothers. Every mom struggles with how to manage their day, how they can make it the most productive and yet feel satisfied when you lay your head down at night is every woman’s dream. My husband jokes with me about making my mental checklists when I lay in bed at night; I’m guilty of it. I can’t fall asleep right away because I am making my mental list of what needs to be accomplished the following day and how to best approach it. If you haven’t seen the movie “I don’t know how she does it” with Sarah Jessica Parker, you need to see it, she does the mental checklist. I think this can be a big trigger for many mom’s as they do not know where to start in developing a productive day while balancing time with their children. Lets start with my daily schedule, I’m not saying I am great at this all the time, but definitely think it’s important to have a schedule laid out for the week.

My Week:

6:30 am: I wake up early to say goodbye to my husband, get my coffee and do my bible study before Cooper wakes up. If I don’t wake up before him, I have a very tough time making my Bible Study a priority as the day goes on.

7:30 am: I begin my research to update you all with my glorious words of wisdom :) and educate myself with the world around us. I also pay bills and take care of finances first thing in the morning.

8:30 am: Cooper wakes up. Eat breakfast together and have play time. Play dates, walking to the park, story time at the Library etc. (I try and have a couple hours outside of the home to get him outside in the back yard or out with some friends. Change of scenery)

10:30-11 am: Lay Cooper down for a nap and start preparing dinner plans. Clean the house

12:30-1 pm: Structured play time with Cooper when he wakes up. Run errands for the week.

3:00 pm: Lay Cooper down for a second nap and finish dinner plans. Take some “me” time and watch a TV show, read, listen to music, take a nap. Even if you take 20 minutes for yourself, enjoy it.

4:30 pm: Interactive playtime with Cooper. Play outside or at the park if we didn’t get to do so in the morning.

5:30 pm: Bath Time, we love killing time in the tub. He likes to make the entire bathroom an ocean; filled with water everywhere.

6:00 pm: Dinner time

7:00 pm: Bed Time for Cooper, read books, sing and go night night!

7:15 pm: Clean up kitchen, make my husbands lunch and relax!!!

Now our days can vary depending on what comes up in life. Today for example, we met my husband for lunch at work. This through off Coopers nap schedule completely, but it’s good for him now and again. They need to be flexible but also need their routine.

Throughout the day, you can see I structure my time to be productive while my son is sleeping. I do so, so I can play WITH him and grow his little brain. It’s more relaxing actually to not worry about cleaning or cooking while he is awake due to the structure of my day working so well, that I can also ENJOY my son while he is awake. It also allows him to not  fuss because he wants to have someone to play with him. I’ve found if I am cooking dinner while he is awake, it can get uptight as he can demand all my attention yet dinner wont cook itself. Making time to play with our kids is also very crucial yet can’t be done all day. They need a balance. Playing alone is very important as well. Find what works for you and your child/children. You may have to alter your time frames accordingly. I am NOT a morning person at all, but have forced myself to get up early and go to bed early and it has worked very well for all of us.

It’s important for me to enjoy my day, feel fulfilled and relaxed as well as truly enjoying my time spent with my son. I know I’ve had too many days of “playing” with my son where I am present but preoccupied. When I realized this, I decided I need to start making some changes to help benefit our family. By doing so, I feel much accomplishment when I lay down at night knowing I had been blessed with my son all day, took care of our home, and prepared meals for my family. I have time for myself, my husband in the evenings and great enjoyment with my son throughout the day.

Remember our kids are little blessings from above who long to be loved and taught. Take advantage of the few short years we have with them.

Biggest Bang for your buck: Utilizing your day to make the most of it. Don’t let your kids life pass you by.