A couple weeks ago while we were at church, the Children’s pastor spoke a great message about simply being an example of what we say we believe. Whether you believe in God or not, this is a great question to ponder. Honestly, it seems lately this question has come up in many ways and many forms lately. It seems to constantly test my belief in God and what I believe he has in store for my life. He has called us as his children to bring others to Christ. Our pastor showed a picture of an old dirty boot and ended the sermon saying, what “dirty” things in our life do we need to give da’ boot to, and what do we need to put the boots on for, and start running after.

I’ve been a believer for years, if any of you know my story, you know that I walked away from the Church and lived my own life how I desired. That’s a story for a different day, but with that history, I’ve actually never led anyone to Christ before. This has always been something I’ve truly never cared about until I really began my walk with the Lord almost two years ago. I was hit with this truth yesterday while sitting in the service, questioning myself and how do others view my life; not how do I view it, but what impression am I leaving on others. Yikes, this was a really tough place to be in, asking myself to search my heart and the true motives of my life. Are my motives for my personal gain or to benefit others?

If I were to give up everything I had to help those around me, wouldn’t I do it? But why is it so hard. The basis of that question is simple, I want to benefit myself, and I believe I come first before anyone else’s happiness. This is a lie, but unfortunately this is how we are. One of the questions the pastor asked was how many times in a day do we complain. Is it possible to go an entire day without complaining…..let me tell you, no it’s not. I tried this from the moment we left church and something was utterly against me and actually helped me complain and be more argumentative than ever. Seriously frustrating. There are spiritual forces around us that will fight for or against us, and I believe any time we want to make the right choices and do the next right thing, we have the enemy doing anything and everything to mess it up for us. But don’t lose heart, this doesn’t mean this has to happen, the more we become aware of the spiritual world around us, the more we can take heart and search our motives and ask the Lord for help. Everything we go through must pass through the hands of God before it ever touches our life.

It’s so easy to complain and get in our own pity party that life is a drab. Do we feel better after complaining or do we make our situations worse? Are we building up those around us when we complain; making them want to hang out longer because you are optimistic or pessimistic. Sometimes we complain about “Christians” and how people who claim to be a follower of Christ are actually the worst examples. I agree we have a lot of hypocrites, but understand that we aren’t any different than any other human with our faults; the only difference is we are held to a higher standard. The difference between believers of Christ and nonbelievers is that nonbelievers don’t have a standard to live up to, the honesty of drinking, smoking pot, sleeping around, lying, and stealing isn’t something that they are told not to do; they have no shame. Believers on the other hand do have a standard we are meant to hold, with that comes a real honesty that needs to be shared. Young kids are walking in worldly experiences having sex at 14 years old and doing drugs. They don’t have a sense of security to share their mistakes or cry for help; instead they carry shame and guilt, worried of someone finding out.

My husband and I talk until we are blue in the face about Christians and how we say one thing and do another, we call them hypocrites. We have them everywhere and even I am one now and again, but my deep desire is to not mask real life experiences but address them in a manner that shows truth and shows change. I want my life to not only show my pitfalls, but to also show the progression of my faults. I say it all the time “a mistake is only a mistake when NOT repeated multiple times. Once the felony keeps happening, it’s now become an excuse rather than a mistake.”