Category Archives: Spiritual Journey

Never Once

This song was so emotional for me as in the loneliest moments of my life I feel utterly and completely alone. I don’t know how to begin to express the battle I am in, it’s physically, emotionally and mentally draining. “I am not alone!” I murmur to myself. I haven’t fully grasped that!

I remember when I was in 8th grade we went to Gettysburg and saw the battlefield. I have placed myself there many times the last two weeks; seeing the grave sites, the history that remained while looking upon a real battlefield. The eerie feeling of seeing history unfold before my eyes. Why does life literally place us in our own battlefield? Nothing is more scary than being on the front lines. Scared to take the steps unsure which step will lead you to victory or a hidden grenade, I long to seek the Commander in Chief for the direction of victory as he holds more knowledge on the field than I of course have. We are his officers and our job is to follow his instruction.

The fog settles in, so does a deep fear of what lies ahead. Trusting the voice of the commander while unable to see him. The fog grows thicker, faith must sink deeper. There is no turning back, the battle has begun and there is only two options: fight it out, or lay down and die.

If you trust your commander you will trust he will lead you to victory. In the midst of the battle you have no option but to trust. If you refuse to do so, you are fighting a losing battle, holding back the other officers around you while you question the truth; the enemy is encroaching and time is running out.

I feel this is the battle I am in right now; directly on the front lines, wrestling with the enemy, fighting for my life. Arrows being thrown, persecuting me for my faith, falling down while horses trample over my body, scrambling to my feet I gasp for breath. Attempting to stand and catch my balance but yet another arrow darts my way, I throw myself to the ground in avoidance. Why can’t I just gather the scene and press pause on the horses racing past me, arrows flying, and the enemy trying to take my life. I’m learning in the midst of the battle there is no time for pause, the enemy is out to win and conquer and take our victory. We fight until the fight is won or we surrender in shame. I will not give up, I will trust my commander through the thick and thin no matter if I can see him. I have to trust he is out there directing the way.

Maybe the fog isn’t so bad after all, maybe it keeps my focus on the next step rather than the multitudes ready to attack. I come across a large rock now and again allowing for brief moments of relief but not for long, simply enough to keep my strength running. I get back up and attack the arrows that fly my way, prepared with my helmet of truth and waistband of salvation. “My feet will carry me home, home to victory” I say aloud. The battle will be conquered but it was never stated how long it would last. I stand in confidence, not cowering down to the enemy giving him authority to take my life. I will fight this battle no matter the cost.

My commander is Christ and he is leading me to victory. Most the times it’s through very thick fog, forcing me to stand tall as I take each individual step knowing I have to trust the steps I am about to take. He will guide me and I will listen. If I don’t, the fog will disorient me and I will wind up dead directly in the middle of the battlefield.

I find myself calling out to Christ “How much longer? I trust you! Please hear my cries! End this battle. I want to gain victory and move ahead. Please Lord, let it be today!” I find myself pleading with the Lord, wrestling my own battle of trust, “Is He leading me to victory? Is there an end in sight?”

I find myself realizing that is the essence of trust. Faith in the unseen. If we saw what was to lie ahead we would sit cowardly in the corner preventing the battle to even begin;fearful for our lives. Will the arrows pierce me? Will I be trampled by the enemy? We would plead with the commander begging “please, please let me sit on the sidelines for this one battle.” Yet it wouldn’t be this one battle, it would be every battle we were to fight; fearful for our lives, we would rather quit than even try. We would change our steps in a heartbeat to avoid learning and conquering the battle that has great purpose for our lives. We would hide on the sidelines and our history would remain stagnant with no purpose. It would simply be wasted.

Never Once

When a sheep is lost from it’s flock, you can imagine the loneliness, fear and wandering that this poor little sheep experiences. Hundreds of sheep gather in a herd, many new babies born on a daily basis. Is this one sheep important to find, hunt down and bring back to the flock?

Wandering in the wilderness all on your own, brings much more awareness to your predators than being in a flock of a few hundred. Wandering into the nearest coyote den, fox hole or lions cave could easily lose the life of this little sheep.

You may be asking why this one sheep would be so crucial to the Shepard. I have been learning in my bible study the last couple weeks that Christ cares about the lost so much so, that finding the one who is lost, is more critical than the hundreds who are saved. Luke 12:32 Jesus calls us his little flock, this is a term of endearment showing his deep love for us and encouraging us not to worry about the little things; what we will eat or wear. Matthew 18:14 states “The Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.” Even though that one little sheep may be insignificant to the Shepard, it is quite the opposite for Christ. The parable in Luke is explaining the significance of saving the souls around us that haven’t known Christ. If you were the only one on this earth, Christ would still have died on the cross for you and you along. That’s how important that “one” lost soul is. It brings a greater picture to me that Christ seeks and saves the lost, literally seeking us from the blindness we experience on a daily basis. The enemy “has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God” 2 Cor 4:3-4.

“Just as a strong wind will blow through an open window and stir things up in a house, the Holy Spirit will blow new life into your church (or your life) if you give Him access.” -Anonymous

Where are our priorities? Are we rushing through the days trying to quickly accomplish the tasks set before us? Whose standard of “tasks” are you seeking to endure, who are you measuring your worth towards; society, Hollywood, friends or family, or Christ? Our perspectives get tainted very quickly and before you realize it, the important things are justified in our minds to not be as critical as we had known previously. Pay attention, be alert, our life is fleeting and we have one shot to not waste our life.

I can tend to waste my life in worry. I realize the power of our minds and the ability they have to consume us and control us so powerfully. This is a very scary thing, yet so refreshing knowing you have the capability to stop your fear in it’s tracks. I believe this is a learned trade as I have struggled with fear my entire life. I don’t think it will ever fully dissipate but can be tremendously reduced over time. I worry so much so that the anxiety starts welling up inside me, this is a huge alarm going off “beep, beep, beep” you need to take your mind captive otherwise you will end up in a ball on the floor paralyzed by fear. This is my routine when I start to recognize the fear I have. I have come to realize, and am not fully there, but fear of something we can control, needs to be roped in, fear of something we cannot control needs to be left in the hands of Christ as we seek wisdom to know the difference between the two.

I have not mastered my fear, but it is such a great reminder that my worries, fears and anxiety are just as important to Christ as the joy and refuge in my life. He came to seek his “little flock;” this is every single one of us. We have to be willing to accept it.

Moment of Truth: What is God calling you to do today? Is there someone you feel you should share the Truth with? Is your own heartstrings be tugged on, are your eyes blinded? Take the steps to seek the truth in your life and realize you can’t gain a day, hour or minute back that passes, but you can change the next minute, hour and days that are to come.

Last night I went to Redbox to rent a movie for my husband and I and as normal I always pick the worst movies ever. Literally, I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I have choose a good movie worth watching. Normally they are so bad we shut the movie off before the first 15 minutes hit. Tonight, was a very interesting night. We had a long day painting Coopers room as it was the last room in the house to get finished; “save the best for last.” Anyway, my husband and I got a deck of cards tonight at the store in hopes to play some fun games this evening. We started off the movie with tea and Poker; I don’t do well playing games and watching movies at the same time. In between hands, I would watch for a couple minutes and realized the movie I had picked was terrible.We played for quite awhile and it was a fun thing to do together while watching a movie. We enjoy games but don’t play them very often.

I am pretty embarrassed to list the name of the movie that I rented as I was completely oblivious to what I had done. For the sake of the story, I will refrain from mentioning the name as well as for the sake of my integrity. :) Anyway, the premise of the movie was a catastrophic event in the world that takes surviving friends into a house to fend for themselves. They develop extreme cabin fever and do drugs to survive the day. They end up encountering a “creature” in the middle of the night that attacks one of the guys. Long story short they find that he is demon possessed and tries to kill off the remaining friends. (I’m sure you are asking yourself at this point why I never turned the movie off…) The movie basically ended with them reading the book of Revelations and realizing that they were in the tribulation and this “creature” was a demon trying to kill off any survivors. As each friend “sacrificed” their life for the other friends, they actually were labeled “good” people and went to heaven. (Again, you may be asking why we kept watching…I’ll get there in a second) The last two friends remaining ended up having to choose “good” works in order to make it to heaven before the “creature” killed them off. I’m sure you can guess that in the sheer panic of this “creature” they choose good over evil. They all met again in Heaven and received anything they wanted; cigarettes, women, profanities, and much more, life was the same as on earth they just received more “things.” “The End”

Yes that is how the movie ended, they all did good works and were good people and anything they asked for in heaven they would receive. Their perspective remained very worldly in the place called “heaven.” I found this to be a completely fascinating movie in the sense that this is what the world makes of Christ and the end times. Fascinating that as much as people fight to remove God from the pledge of allegiance and praying in public before a meal, they still have enough conviction to make a movie about the possible tribulation. The fear that plagues Hollywood, develops movies to make sense of their lack of commitment to Christ, but clear indication that they hope to end up in heaven if there is a heaven. People get to the end of their life and ask themselves what’s to come after they die. Will there be an after life? They ask enough questions to make sense of their actions and lack of commitment to anything other than themselves, but believing if something happens, they were “good” enough to proceed into heaven without having to believe in God.

It makes me really sad and really angry all at the same time. People are choosing to remain blind and continue in their worldly patterns of drugs, sex, and debauchery because it benefits them and makes them feel good for the time being, but if there happened to be an after life than their hopes of having a second chance is what they cling to. This movie depicted a great perspective of how the world will blatantly choose themselves and deny God, unless they are faced with turmoil when an “evil” presence tries to kill the world off. On a daily basis people will surrender their lives to prove their isn’t a God, but they don’t realize they are trying so hard to pursue against the obvious. If it wasn’t obvious, “God” wouldn’t be such a taboo word, and a priority to conquer against the actual truth. People wouldn’t feel the need to disprove God.

God is everywhere and that is so evident with our society. We have many religions, people proclaiming the truth about Christ or trying to disprove Christ, different seminars for every faith/religion or atheist, Holidays that become about presents and money rather than the truth, and so on and so on. We also have so much evil: shootings, suicide, wealth and materialism just to name a few, and all of these things are simple distractions that end up consuming lives that end in death and unhappiness. They fight against the obvious. God has made it clear that he is Lord of all the earth and made every single one of us, yet we can’t show an ounce of gratification.

What have you conquered in your life? If you died today would you feel as though you lived your life to the fullest knowing your material possessions will not travel with you to the after life? What are you clinging to? Wealth, possessions, job, family, friends, clothing, and food. Or are you clinging to the truth of who God created you to be and using your talents to grow your relationship with God, yourself, family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, and society. When you lay your head down at night, do you feel satisfied if you died in your sleep that you would know where you were going and that what you accomplished was worth something? Ultimately this is all the matters, simple and true. Nothing else matters. We think we have our whole lives to live, yet in a blink of an eye it’s gone. Take responsibility for this one life we have, and live it to the fullest.

Moment of truth: The world sees heaven as a happy place for anyone whose “good.” Go and share with these people what Christ did for their “good” works and how Judas and Peter both denied Christ, but Peters repentant heart is what got him to heaven. Judas’ prideful heart lead him to death and hell. Think about it….

A couple weeks ago while we were at church, the Children’s pastor spoke a great message about simply being an example of what we say we believe. Whether you believe in God or not, this is a great question to ponder. Honestly, it seems lately this question has come up in many ways and many forms lately. It seems to constantly test my belief in God and what I believe he has in store for my life. He has called us as his children to bring others to Christ. Our pastor showed a picture of an old dirty boot and ended the sermon saying, what “dirty” things in our life do we need to give da’ boot to, and what do we need to put the boots on for, and start running after.

I’ve been a believer for years, if any of you know my story, you know that I walked away from the Church and lived my own life how I desired. That’s a story for a different day, but with that history, I’ve actually never led anyone to Christ before. This has always been something I’ve truly never cared about until I really began my walk with the Lord almost two years ago. I was hit with this truth yesterday while sitting in the service, questioning myself and how do others view my life; not how do I view it, but what impression am I leaving on others. Yikes, this was a really tough place to be in, asking myself to search my heart and the true motives of my life. Are my motives for my personal gain or to benefit others?

If I were to give up everything I had to help those around me, wouldn’t I do it? But why is it so hard. The basis of that question is simple, I want to benefit myself, and I believe I come first before anyone else’s happiness. This is a lie, but unfortunately this is how we are. One of the questions the pastor asked was how many times in a day do we complain. Is it possible to go an entire day without complaining…..let me tell you, no it’s not. I tried this from the moment we left church and something was utterly against me and actually helped me complain and be more argumentative than ever. Seriously frustrating. There are spiritual forces around us that will fight for or against us, and I believe any time we want to make the right choices and do the next right thing, we have the enemy doing anything and everything to mess it up for us. But don’t lose heart, this doesn’t mean this has to happen, the more we become aware of the spiritual world around us, the more we can take heart and search our motives and ask the Lord for help. Everything we go through must pass through the hands of God before it ever touches our life.

It’s so easy to complain and get in our own pity party that life is a drab. Do we feel better after complaining or do we make our situations worse? Are we building up those around us when we complain; making them want to hang out longer because you are optimistic or pessimistic. Sometimes we complain about “Christians” and how people who claim to be a follower of Christ are actually the worst examples. I agree we have a lot of hypocrites, but understand that we aren’t any different than any other human with our faults; the only difference is we are held to a higher standard. The difference between believers of Christ and nonbelievers is that nonbelievers don’t have a standard to live up to, the honesty of drinking, smoking pot, sleeping around, lying, and stealing isn’t something that they are told not to do; they have no shame. Believers on the other hand do have a standard we are meant to hold, with that comes a real honesty that needs to be shared. Young kids are walking in worldly experiences having sex at 14 years old and doing drugs. They don’t have a sense of security to share their mistakes or cry for help; instead they carry shame and guilt, worried of someone finding out.

My husband and I talk until we are blue in the face about Christians and how we say one thing and do another, we call them hypocrites. We have them everywhere and even I am one now and again, but my deep desire is to not mask real life experiences but address them in a manner that shows truth and shows change. I want my life to not only show my pitfalls, but to also show the progression of my faults. I say it all the time “a mistake is only a mistake when NOT repeated multiple times. Once the felony keeps happening, it’s now become an excuse rather than a mistake.”

Do to my rant the other day about bullying in school (click here) I really felt it was important to discuss the blessings in loving our children. Loving our children seems to be a given. Don’t we all love our kids? Of course we do, but how often do we continually exercise this love. Are we constantly telling them “no,” correcting behavior, asking for respect, don’t touch that, don’t hit your brother, don’t you talk back to me, go to your room. All of these statements ring oh so true to a parent. Teaching your kids respect and love is probably the hardest job out there. We are responsible in grooming our kids so that when 18 short years later, they will maneuver through this world with aspirations, respect, confidence, encouragement, and feeling a place in this big world. How often do we teach our kids through actions verses words? Unfortunately I hate to say it but our actions take precedence most of the time and not always in a positive way.

Do we love our spouse the way they deserve to be loved, giving tender, compassionate love? These are the times we want to hold dear and in the forefront of our minds. When I stand at my own gravesite tomorrow or 80 years from now, I want my obituary to be a positive influence to those around me. When my kids stand at my funeral to speak about my life as a mother, I hope they only have positive things to say about my love for them and their father and the influence I had on those around me! I don’t want to live with regrets. I want to make this life not ordinary but EXTRAordinary, who’s to stop us, only we are our biggest battle.

Carolyn Mahaney once said “Motherhood can be both exhilarating and exasperating. It can present us with a delightful experience one moment and a baffling encounter the next. There are days when we can’t imagine doing anything more rewarding. Then we have days when caring for our children feels anything but significant.” The moment in the hospital when your baby is plunged into your arms an immediate love overpowers you and strengthens your desire to care for this infant no matter what life brings. The miraculous life that has just been handed over to you gives immediate protection and indescribable love. No one needed to come along side my husband and I and teach us how to love our precious bundle. It just happens. Over time, things do change, our patience gets tested, the never ending cries of the newborn, sleepless nights, terrible 2’s, 4 year old tantrums, 10 year old disrespect, and you got it….those teen years that baffle your mind to no end. Has your love changed, absolutely not, but has your attitude changed? Our affection can quickly fall to the way side as parenting tends to take over.

Let’s try and mesh parenting into a tender, passionate, affectionate love that God has called us to with our children. This type of parenting will forever change the hearts of our little ones, discipline through godly love and tender affection is what our children are craving. Their little minds struggle to express their feelings and emotions and need a safe haven to develop those outlets. How as a husband and wife can you begin to implement this change in your family, well for starters begin with one another. My husband and I saw this in a movie once and it was pretty funny but we actually saw a lot of truth behind it. This little boy told his sister “hey that was a put down, you owe me 3 put ups.” I can’t remember the movie it was in but it stuck with us. We use it jokingly but in reality it’s a very positive thing to do. How often do we give positive feedback throughout the day, you will notice your perspective change simply by implementing three put ups. It may sound childish but we all need to bring ourselves back to reality and not think we are above the right to be respected and give respect.

Proverbs 13:24 states that lack of discipline is a result of hate. No one would use such words towards their children, but why do we think its okay to allow them to rule our families. They need constant correction and love to gain a healthy perspective on life and boundaries needed in this world. Tenderness will soften anyone’s hearts, especially our children’s. If we discipline in love and always end with a hug and a kiss, they will one day see our reasoning for our actions and ultimately still feel that love from us as parents. If we discipline out of anger and hatred their precious little hearts will tend to grow hard and calloused. Unfortunately this is true in our own family, my husband grew up in a very tough environment, and not an ounce of tender love and affection was given to him, precisely the opposite. My husband longs to give that tender love and affection as that was never passed on to him. I’ve seen him struggle with something that is a direct result of his parents. Why can’t we spare our children everything possible and do what we are called to, and hold our children with the highest level of commitment. I heard it once said, we would lay our lives down for our children, but then why aren’t more parents choosing to be involved with bettering themselves, so in turn we will positively affect our children’s lives. I thought that was so profound. How can we honestly raise up a child in the way he should go, if we aren’t going in the correct way as their own parents. Let’s not be shy to the fact that we all need some teaching throughout our lives, whether that’s in retreats, counseling, mommy groups, daddy workshops, etc. Take the opportunity to grow yourself and your marriage to better love our children with that tender, compassionate love they so deeply desire.

I know my son is only 14 months old. I haven’t encountered the terrible 2’s, 4 year old tantrums, 10 year old disrespect, and those teen years. But what I do know is that every day that passes with my son, I know I hold dear. I treasure the opportunity to be home with him, capturing these precious moments as each day passes knowing I am his biggest influence, his biggest advocate and his biggest fan. As he is my first and only child right now, I long to get this down to the best of my ability by preparing for those years to come. I want to begin that tender, affectionate love now, so I don’t have to learn once we’ve gone too far. My confidence is in the Lord, each child needs to be parented to their personality but that doesn’t mean at 14 months old, my child shouldn’t be parented with that tender love as well. He’s just now learning that there are consequences to his actions, he doesn’t understand why, but he knows there are certain things he can’t do. Probably the best stage to start the affectionate love as he doesn’t understand that he can’t hit me directly in the face out of excitement. Teaching these new boundaries are not easy but I want him to feel a bond and respect towards me as we embark on this journey together.

Moment of Truth:

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

We are given the tools; take heart as we embark on this journey of being blessed by our children and blessing them back. We have this hope, now let’s use the tools God has promised!

My girlfriend asked me recently to pray for her. She said she isn’t feeling peace in her life and with the Lord. She feels as though she is in a spiritual battle and asked how to practically obtain peace and how to give this up to God. My response, I Prayed for wisdom and said:

“Honestly friend, with everything going on in my life right now with Michael and I, I am realizing in the midst of the hurt and the pain life brings, we all live at this point; some sort of hurt. This is exactly where God wants us, to see the fact that we need Him. The only thing I can tell you that I’ve learned recently is to rest in the Lord and constantly pray throughout the day. Pray pray pray! Pray while you are cleaning, while you are cooking, and while you are playing with your precious little one. It is so hard, yet this is exactly what he wants from us, complete dependency on the Lord. Ask for belief in the midst of unbelief. I don’t know that there’s anything more practical to tell you. This is where faith comes in. We are all on our own journeys and God is refining us through the discomfort. We don’t see our need for him when life is perfect. Sometimes I have to pray that God will allow me to simply keep breathing. The world around us is one big spiritual battle. We choose not to see it on a daily basis but this is our reality as believers of Christ. This world is our temporary home and a place where we want the Lord to refine us as we enter our eternal home one day.”

My response came from a deep understanding that life has been challenging and beyond belief for me the last few months. I truly felt I could share my thoughts with her as I am simply reminding myself what I am learning in the midst of hurt and pain; I still feel peace and a true happiness. I looked at my husband the other night and told him I long for him to truly be happy. He expressed the same desire back. I looked at him as he looked broken and beat down and said I wish you could truly experience the happiness I am feeling. Circumstances around me are crumbling, crashing down as a giant wave hits the sand, yet the depths of my soul are still happy. I find peace and happiness reigning in my life, yet my circumstances in life are a complete disaster. I want to hide from the reality that life is messy, but how would I obtain this peace without going through the fire. God has purposely allowed my trials to fall through His hands, knowing I am longing to grow in complete dependency on our Savior. He’s refining me when I’ve got nothing left to offer but breathe flowing from my lungs; I keep breathing.

The reality is I could have never said this one month ago. My life has been incredibly hard yet God is allowing it to happen to strengthen me. I can tell you it hasn’t been pretty, I have fought with the Lord on this plenty of times and still do. I see my husband at the end of himself, nothing left to offer, everything is a mess and yet I long and humbly pray for his heart! I pray that God does a mighty miracle, yet as I pray, God is working in my life and using my husband to plant my feet in solid ground in holding to the truth I claim to believe. Simply put, I wish God wouldn’t use other people to strengthen me but it brings reality that in the midst of their hurt and pain, we still have something to learn through it.

Life is one big Spiritual battle that we choose not to see. Life doesn’t have to be hard and messy for a spiritual battle to be going on in your life. Every decision you make is either a blessing to the Lord or not. That simple! When you look at it like this, you start to realize how many decisions we make in a day and whether or not they are glorifying to God and those around us, or are they hurtful, demeaning, and selfish.

Moment of Truth:

What if we lived as though we saw the spiritual battle around us. I guarantee we would fall to our knees in awe. This world has so much to offer and at the same time we have angels fighting on our behalf against the enemy. What a cool thought! There is enough evil in the world that we already see, I truly don’t know that our minds could handle the spiritual world around us right now. Maybe that is why God has held it from us until we reach our eternal home.

“Fear has so captivated our minds we don’t even recognize it anymore. It’s just how we think. We live paralyzed, afraid to stand out yet also afraid of being invisible, afraid of something terrible happening yet also afraid something good will never happen. We live afraid of people and we think all of these thoughts are normal. We don’t live seeing God, we live seeing worst-case scenarios.” (Jennie Allen, Chase)

I am involved with a bible study at our church on Tuesday mornings. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed all the studies I’ve been through thus far. But…this one in particular is not on any focus except MY heart towards God. We are only in it two weeks now, and I’ve already felt compelled to change my heart and attitude on so many levels.

Believing God is real is a great attribute, but believing comes from the heart. Are we living as though we believe what we say, are our actions speaking our truths, are our lives following in harmony with our words? These are hard questions for each of us to ask ourselves. Whether you believe in God or not, contemplate those questions and see if your life is showing a path that is aligned with your heart. We can talk the talk all we want, but when life gets out right difficult, is our talk following our walk? If we believe God is real and that he is with each and every one of us; wouldn’t we live differently? Do we confess an intellectual belief in God or is He real enough to impact our circumstances?

Fear is not something little. Fear is something that impacts us at our core if we will choose to recognize it. Every one of us struggles with fear on some level. Fear of abandonment, fear of finances, wealth, fear of being noticed or unnoticed, fear of accomplishments, fear of not being good enough, fear of fitting in, fear of losing, fear from past circumstances, and fear of failure. This could go on and on. Every one of us has a level of fear within us that may be recognized or may not be, but should be dealt with. This fear can be captivating taking away your life, or it could be less harmful and be the deciding factor for steps you take during the day, week, month and year. You will only get as far as your fear allows you. Fear is hindering us from the things we are meant to accomplish.

We need courage to stand firm in what we know to be true. But fear is so paralyzing that it becomes a massive hurdle to jump over. Our greatest fears and failures tend to be our greatest strengths if we allow them to be. Sometimes we can make God out to be too perplexing. The basis of facing our giants needs to stem from acting in correlation with who God says he is, not who we say God is. This is a big difference. Each day has a task set before us; God has a plan with us each and every single day. Do we realize this, not really? To be honest I do not approach each day in the manner that God would probably wish I would. Most the time, I probably approach the day how I wish to approach it rather than stop and see what God has in store for me. What if we took a minute to just stop for 30 seconds even, and ask God to direct our steps today? God’s plan is so much greater than our plan and often looks very different than how we envisioned. But His plan is so much better and often goes beyond what we imagine, only to make us stop and be thankful.

Do we live protectively over our lives and fear what we may lose. The reality is we could lose everything no matter how hard you protect your things. God ultimately has the power to take things away to put our perspective back on him, or to teach us during the hard times so that we don’t put our possessions above God himself. “Fear is rooted in unbelief, and unbelief is sin.” (Jennie Allen, Chase Study, pg 49) Courage is fundamentally the fight for faith. Going back to our hearts desires. You fight for what you believe every day in some manner or another. We see people every day on television fighting to the very core of themselves proving there isn’t a god. The fight against same sex marriages, abortions, women’s rights, and much more. These people fight to the depths of themselves for something that is temporary. This fight won’t carry us to heaven and gives us a purpose that feels worth fighting for. Being seen in the naked eye for something that is too complex is why fear overtakes. God alone will make us brave and brave for the right things, things that will last eternally. We ultimately become a salve to our fear. That’s a scary thought to me, our mind is so powerful and we get so lost by our own fears we do not know which way is up anymore.

In the blink of an eye our lives begin to pass us by. Our lives grow so quickly, our kids we never had but always wanted are leaving for college, our 30^th anniversaries are right around the corner, retirement accounts becoming more in the forefront of our minds, helping parents through hospice and the transition of life where they become a helpless babe again. All of these things are a part of life and are hard, sad, tough and yet so exciting. These stages are great to watch the kids grow and become their own little person, fall in love, have their own babies, but the transition of life starts as a helpless babe and unfortunately takes us right back around to being completely and utterly helpless again.

The media lately has been so full of death. Maybe this isn’t something new, but has caught my attention more recently. My heart is so broken for people who lose a loved one, go through a tragic scenario, and live and lose. These people have no hope, constantly searching their whole lives for purpose and meaning. My heart aches for the emptiness, sadness, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, broken marriages and broken families. These are hard things for me. I have an incredible amount of compassion for these heartaches. I’ve realized the hunt for something greater displays a life of emptiness so clearly through our celebrities; overdose and suicide. It brings life back into perspective; what’s our goal every day? Are we fighting to simply make it through the day, or are we blessed with life that no matter our circumstances we want to glorify God, be a light to friends and family and embrace each day as it was our last. We never live as though this is our last day. How many times do you walk out the door, hang up the phone or drop your kids off at school wishing the conversation ended different? I do often unfortunately, and I long to change this. My attitude is my biggest pitfall. I recognize this but need to not only proactively work on it, but need to change my hearts attitude for this to be an effective change.

I heard once, “our hearts display our true beliefs,” we live as though our hearts believe, not as though our minds believe. Did you catch that? Our hearts speak and display our true beliefs, meanwhile our minds tells us what we want to believe and what we ought to believe but our hearts do not follow. They are different. I’m not suggesting this is an easy fix, I’m working on this daily trying to convince myself I understand I have a poor attitude while the next breath I’m reinforcing my bad attitude. It’s not something we can magically change; it’s something that takes the strength of ourselves leaning on our Heavenly Father to help break our hearts in order that we may see things differently. We can try and try all we want, but I am living proof that it takes more than my sinful, selfish self to truly change the nature that we are all inherently selfish beings. If we weren’t, this topic wouldn’t be so challenging. Dear friends, we are all on this journey together. Let’s embrace the reality that in the midst of beauty we are all selfish and need help and accountability from those around us. Lean on the Lord today and see how your perspective changes. Choose to see God.