Category Archives: Story Time

Forgiveness

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 23 April, 2014 None comments

Just when I think I’ve lost every drop of grace I have inside me and want to give up and move on, a song comes on in the background: 7×70 times by Chris August. If you haven’t heard it, then you must listen to it.

7×70

Although my night and many of them did not go as planned, I feel like this was the straw that broke the camels back. Not quite sure how to handle the situation I’ve just encountered but knowing it’s anything but good. I decided to ignore it in hopes that I wont have to deal with it anymore this evening. While in the kitchen making my husbands lunch this song came on and in mid thought interrupted me. “What am I supposed to do? The situation isn’t good, but that doesn’t mean I can’t forgive but it also doesn’t mean I keep continuing to be trampled on. So how Lord do I stop and forgive and where do I go from here?” The questions filled my mind while trying to concentrate on lunch making. “Forgive? How Lord?” I am trying to rationalize my thoughts, “How do you not forgive, I’ve forgiven you and all my children even when they continue down destructive paths, you must forgive and I will show you how.” This is what I hear as I am filling up with anger now that I’ve allowed myself to actually think through some of the facts. Okay, if the Lord is asking me to forgive than I must exercise this and allow the Lord to help me forgive. My anger must subside!

Thanks to uppercasewoman.com

I’ve had the conversation many times with my husband that when you dwell on the negative it breeds a negative attitude and now is my opportunity to take my own advice. My routine when I become angry and feel justified is to pray for wisdom. Ask the Lord for the next hour to speak through my words or actions. Then I ask for grace; giving me grace to see the positive through the negative circumstances. Friends, this works! I am living proof of it. My perspective has change 180 degrees only by taking these small steps and my response has had a greater impact. Do not be fooled, it is not easy what-so-ever but it takes discipline and exercising faith to want to change bad habits. If you desire something enough, you will strive for that success.

Now forgiving doesn’t always mean staying in the same circumstances. The line needs to be drawn depending on each individual situation. I wasn’t asking to encounter this situation nor will I ever again. Forgiving can still occur even when tolerance doesn’t. My tolerance level is 100% depleted. When this song came on 7×70 times, I was struck by the simple fact that it doesn’t matter the circumstances, you simply forgive. We begin basing our forgiveness on selfish gain, how many times have you been wronged, how many times have you deserved better than that, how many times? How many times? How many times? These are selfish questions that bring about a negative, deserving attitude; the proper question needs to come from the Lord; “help me Lord to forgive with your grace and without expectations?”

By changing our thoughts and perspective we can begin to take those small steps to genuine love and forgiveness EVEN when others don’t deserve it.

I think it’s so important to address this issue as forgiveness is a daily battle and sometimes an hourly battle. Those of you with kids, spouses, and rocky family relationships or friendships all understand that this becomes a choice. If you don’t choose forgiveness your anger and resentment will turn your heart to stone. Strive to become the person people enjoy being around rather then wishing you away because you are emotionally draining!

Moment of Truth: Sometimes we walk paths that are unexpected and continue to throw road blocks at us. We have the choice to continue to walk or stop and allow these road blocks to hinder any further growth. Don’t settle for ordinary. Choose extraordinary and seek forgiveness no matter the cost! Choose abundant life no matter if you choose it alone! God is here to help, BUT you must ask and wait.

Faith or Religion

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 21 April, 2014 None comments

Oh boy, the very topic of religion and faith begin to rustle our feathers. My parents came into town for the weekend to watch our son while my husband and I enjoy a couple nights away for the very first time. We are extremely excited but it’s almost as if we are both waiting for something terribly bad to happen as you can see with our life….things simply don’t slow down. We live in a sarcastic zone right now almost expecting something to occur while joking with one another to only help keep our sanity alive. We sit in a stupor of “what just happened” kind of state while we try and process everything. It would actually be humorous to the outside world taking a look in to our home and the Cook’s sitting on the couch entirely unengaged by what is taking place in life not even able to converse with one another; simply starring at the motion streaming across the TV.

While we were chit-chatting last night with my parents, the topic of religion and faith got brought up. This is a sticky topic and tends to make many people uncomfortable. Isn’t that what we want, a place of uncomfortability? This is where we should be! I know it sounds clique but in all reality a comfortable place is a scary place. We never want to be comfortable with God, there should always be a relationship bouncing back and forth forcing contemplation of life and actions as well as a forward progression.

Thanks to: alookintomymind.wordpress.com

The topic of “earning” our place with God got brought up. Sometimes we live in a world of complete expectation; if you do something for me, than I’ll do something for you. This is exactly how we treat relationships. We fight against this very thing only to find this is exactly what we are looking for if we are honest. Perfect example- my husband was never blessed with a good childhood or parents who truly loved him. He thought from a young age, if he did all these things than they would accept him. That never happened. He joined the Airforce, got his bachelors and masters degree, went ahead and got his CPA license and now here he is….35 years old questioning his very being. What was all of that for? It was all for the very purpose of wanting to be accepted by his wealthy, prestige family who wouldn’t bat an eye at him unless he became something great. Even after all that, he wasn’t successful in their eyes. Years in school, hundreds of thousands of dollars spent only for the sake of their acceptance and longing to be loved never being met; my husbands happiness sunk deep into a hole. Realizing years later that he doesn’t even enjoy what he does for a living, it was all simply for the sake of “becoming something greater” that never existed. That greatness is within my husband, not the jobs be preforms. This is the concept we all need to remind ourselves of. This is a sad reality.

Earning acceptance comes in many different forms but we all do it on some level or another. We crave relationships and this is exactly why the weight of friendships become so heavy. We think we are being the best friend possible to only be let down because their reciprocation isn’t as much as yours is. These are lies that you are believing. We need to live in a relationship for that relationship and not what you can get out of it, but what you can bless them with. This is what makes great people of the world, this is what brings credibility, this is what brings true friendship and love. This is what helps create happiness.

Letting go of expectation will bring about a giving heart. This is where Christ wants us. We need to serve those around us just as Christ has called us to do. This all ties into religion and the expectation that if we are “good enough” God will bless us. This isn’t how relationships work, so why would we want a religion that works that way. Works based religion will only tear you down because you will and cannot ever be good enough. Look at my husband, he did everything he knew they would like but it was never enough. Do you really want to Worship a God who you can’t quite meet up to His standards and waste your life trying? We become consumed with these thoughts to only blame God for not following through on His end of the bargain. “I’ve been faithful, I’ve stayed married, I had multiple children, I help friends, I work hard, I share my money so why aren’t you blessing me back?” These are the very thoughts we take on when life gets hard. I’ve done all these things so why are you bringing tragedy into my life? Why are we in the hospital with my son, I’ve been faithful? Why did my mother have to die without resolution? Why? Why? Why?

The very essence of our works based religion stems from a selfish gain. I’ve done all these things so you should pour down blessing on me? It’s the very thought that keeps our focus on ourselves not Christ. God wants to pour blessings upon us, but when our perspective is on HIM not OURSELVES. He also wants us to get the very essence that we are forgiven before we even act upon our sin. This is a faith based relationship with God, not a religion. God wants us to accept the fact that we are forgiven and have the gift of salvation, NOTHING is to be earned. We don’t want to strive so hard in friendships to earn their approval, those relationships are not worth out time, so why would we do the same with God?

Friends, we all need to remember that God died for us a painful death only for the sake of taking the sin of the world upon His shoulders before we even sinned those very sins. He had to take upon the impossible to create the possible! Without his death and resurrection, there is no point in living! We are redeemed brothers and sisters and need to start living in that redemption. He forgave us when he was strung upon the cross; walk in that freedom! This is Faith not religion. Faith is accepting the gift of Christ not earning something he’s already handed us. There are a million billion doors of love to walk through and one of those doors is for you! God has strategically placed His loving hand in your life waiting for you to accept it and walk through the door of true life; living in grace and freedom! No matter how flawless your behavior, the answer to being worthy enough of Christ’s love is always no. You are not worthy enough by any means, but simply because He loves you. Your performance and Christ’s love are completely different issues, which we all need to sort out. “I love you with an everlasting Love that flows out from eternity without limits or conditions.” ~Sarah Calling

You are not trapped and enslaved to sin! There is a hope and a future! Even though life is down right horrible and painful at times, our hope begins to be refined when in the midst of hardship, begging for something greater than ourselves. When life gets messy we seek for something bigger than our powerless hands, but when life is fantastic we use our hands to try and run the world thinking we have it all under control! We must not let unexpected events throw us off course.

Moment of Truth: Learning to accept the forgiveness already handed to you and choosing to talk in that freedom. You are redeemed! “If I have you permanent Peace, independent of My Presence, you might fall into the trap of self-sufficiency.” ~Sarah Young

What Does it Mean to be Held

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 20 April, 2014 None comments

Today is Easter! Happy Easter everyone. I hope you are all enjoying the fact that Christ Died so that we could have hope for a future; a future of perfection! Please embrace the meaning of Easter and enjoy some good food with your families.

My thoughts today couldn’t have come at a better time due to the season of Christ’s resurrection!

Thanks to alisina.org

Losing a child is never an easy thought let alone a reality. I can’t proclaim to understand the pain parents feel when they are clinging to their child helpless as ever. I felt a small amount of this when we took my son to the hospital recently begging the Lord to “Please!! Please, keep my son alive!!” My heart felt a pain I never wish upon any parent as they travel the road of uncertainty while doctors try and figure out what is so terribly wrong with them. The monitors screaming in your ears, the labored breathing and the helpless cry begging for you, as their parent, to save them.

I experienced enough of this tragedy to pray and plead with the Lord that I outlive my children and that they come to know Him as Savior. Please be gracious to me Oh Heavenly Father and let my children live a long, healthy, blessed life.

Knowing the sad reality that I know people in my life who have lost children and my husband being the lost child of his father. His grandparents never forgave the Lord for taking their son away. The bitterness and anger that sets in is, understandable. But the lack of dealing with the problem is inexcusable.

The song “Held” by Natalie Grant came on the radio as I was driving home from a lunch date with a dear friend of mine. This song brought me to tears as I thought about the life of losing a child. I felt a deep need to share this with you all as we all suffer immense tragedy in our every day lives yet strive for normalcy. It seems as I heard this song my mind flashed through literally everyone I know as they are all suffering deep pain longing to be ‘held.’

These were my thoughts on a precious friend who experienced deep pain in losing their loved one.

“I write to you as you are being held in the arms of Jesus; sweet precious baby. You are missed by everyone who knew of you. Just one year ago you went to heaven to be with Jesus. Your mommy and daddy are going through the motions of life trying to find answers, missing you, and longing to see you one day! The longing to watch you sleep while your fingers curled around mommy’s, grasping ever so tightly. Hearing your little giggle flow from your mouth, watching you take your very first steps and wave “bye-bye” for the first time is now but a dream. Your tiny little fingers, your precious button nose, your little eyelashes that curled so perfectly are currently in perfection with our Savior Jesus Christ. You were perfect and made into complete perfection the day you met Jesus.”

The question came to mind today what does it mean to be held in the midst of pain and trials of this world? “To think that providence would take a child from it’s mother while she prays, is appalling.” The unfortunate thing is that when the fall of man occurred Christ never promised life would be easy but that He would hold us when terrible tragedy hit. We survive the pain only to realize we are loved by Christ and that’s all that really matters.

“This hand is bitterness, we want to taste it” is exactly what happened to Eve in the Garden of Eden but more importantly what happens to us everyday. We seek the pleasures and answers of this world more than we seek the face of Christ. We often hold our children and spouses above the love of Christ and come tragedy, realize the depth of our need for a Savior. When God doesn’t answer our prayers we think we are doing something terribly wrong. “Are you praying incorrectly? Are your desires not God’s desires? What could I have done differently?” All these questions swarm your mind leaving you with doubt. These questions do not need answering, God simply wants your heart and love for Him and peace will follow. I said peace will follow! That doesn’t mean sadness will be taken away, tragedy is apart of life and in the midst of tears you can grasp the peace of Christ to only have a confidence that wouldn’t come if you were not a child of God. God’s way is not our way, and we tend to lose sight of that. It doesn’t mean He wont bring healing and blessings upon you, but it will probably look entirely different than you had imagined. More often than not, this reigns true over my life; it’s never how I envisioned.

There is a WHOLE spiritual realm taking place as we speak. We often forget about this when in reality this unseen battle is fighting for your very life. There are angels fighting the very demons that are out to destroy you and kill you. The bible tells us he is out to seek, kill and destroy and that is exactly what he is doing! BUT remember in the midst of tragedy God promises nothing touches your life without passing through the hands of the Father. God is allowing your life to play out exactly how he sees fit. There needs to be a confidence within that. He knows what is best for you.

Though we can’t understand why certain things happen to people, we can have confidence that trials and tribulations come in every sense of the word and do hit everybody. As much as this seems discouraging we know our hearts are being made more like Christ; transforming us into perfection. Something we can’t obtain without Him. If you are a follower of Christ, you will face trials of many kinds because Satan absolutely hates that you believe and seek after our loving Father. Our very thoughts need to be on Christ and not ourselves while asking the hundreds of questions and guilt that plague our every move. Sometimes there are no answers and all we can do is sit in the arms of Jesus and cry.

Moment of Truth: He is right here holding you! Are you receiving His love knowing one day there will be justice? Fight the battle, and fight it well.

The angels are fighting! Praise Jesus!

The Merry-Go-Round of Life

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 19 April, 2014 None comments

The Merry-Go-Round of life. Shouldn’t this ride be slow and relaxing? Are we riding faster and faster begging for life to slow down a little? Is our patience being tested? Is our integrity failing? Is our lack of trust letting others down? Is our dishonesty destroying relationships?

This merry-go-round of life is never ending and we haven’t quite figure that out yet. It seems that every new twist and turn in the road we are looking for an escape rather than accepting the very day we have been given.

As I had previously mentioned about my patience fleeing my soul as if I became a ravenous dog out to destroy anything and everything in my site, I stumbled across this and found it to be entirely fitting…..WAIT!!! It was not fitting at all, it was convicting to the innermost part of my being. Reminding me why I exercise patience and why I am not running my own life.

I have a devotional that is beyond quick and helps convict you for the entire day with your 3 minutes of reading. :)

This is by Sarah Young, April 16:

I am calling you to a life of thankfulness. I want all your moments to be punctuated with thanksgiving. The basis for your gratitude is My sovereignty. I am the Creator and Controller of the universe. Heaven and earth are filled with My glorious Presence.

When you criticize or complain, you are acting as if you think you could run the world better than I do. From your limited human perspective, it may look as if I’m mismanaging things. But you don’t know what I know or see what I see. If I pulled back the curtain to allow you to view heavenly realms, you would understand much more. However, I have designed you tolive by faith, not by sight. I lovingly shield you from knowing the future of seeing into the spirit world. Acknowledge My sovereignty by giving thanks in all circumstances.

Boy was this a mind, body and soul experience to remember to give thanks in all circumstances and that I often act as though I could run the world better than the God that created me! Who am I to think such things and exercise a power that I clearly do not have?

This helped put me back in place remembering I need not say the things I want to say from my flesh. But give thanks when my son is testing my patience for the very reason that I have a son to test my patience. Being thankful in the little things help bring clarity when bigger things arise.

I am thankful for the very fact that I cannot see the future as I would probably be more scared than excited. I would base my every move off what the future would bring rather than living in the moment and allowing my faith to grow and my focus to remain on the Lord. This is the merry-go-round of life. It continually happens and constantly tests my limits.

Thanks to fineartamerica.com

Moment of Truth: I learned through a simple reminder that I am powerless but have a God who is all Powerful! My faith is not in the patience I lack throughout the day, but in God who has given me a desire to exercise patience for the sake of Him to bless my family.

The Million Dollar Question

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 18 April, 2014 None comments

This morning I had a conversation with my husband before work about his job and his happiness. This has become a very frequent conversation as of lately. The million dollar question still remains unanswered; “what will make me happy?” It’s not about the money for him, it’s not about anything but enjoying what he is doing and being successful at it. Does that mean you stay in the same career but in a different position or simply change fields all together? The many questions remain. How to narrow down the answers for the unknown is almost impossible.

As a wife, my biggest problem is wanting to solve this issue knowing I can’t create the perfect job for him that he would love to attend everyday. The struggle of helping him, supporting him, and making a plan with him is extremely challenging for me as I can not create his happiness. I know he turns to me because he wants me to help solve this situation as well and I can’t. It’s a tough position to be in and I wish I could answer that million dollar question.

From an outside perspective, even though I’m not truly on the outside, I can see that some things take more time than we would like. I know answers will come, I know he will gain an interest in what he really wants to do and I know ultimately, he will begin to see more clearly. He’s had a whirlwind of events take place the last couple years but as of frequent, the last three months. The problem isn’t only his job, it’s life. He has battled relationships and abandonment with his mother while reconnecting with her only to lose her a second time and this time for good. He got married and had a baby within months and since then, life has only sped up. There has been no roadmap along the way.

We find ourselves here two years later only to say “wow!” These past two years have encompassed more than we bargained for yet we still can’t believe it’s only been two years all at the same time. Learning how to be married, be parents, and live life while finding our identity is anything but easy. I think most often people tend to dismiss the tough questions in life and tell you to ‘suck it up’ because they do not know themselves how to get there. I know we all struggle with our identity and accomplishment on some level or another, but how often do we push towards the end goal or simply take life in stride not wanting to accept any curveballs thrown.

The problem I see, is more people need to be vulnerable and accept life’s challenges, be there for others going through a similar situation and/or simply listen. My husband and I have traveled these past two years almost solo. We’ve had great people come in and out of our life advising and supporting, but when it comes down to it, we’ve been the two people at the end of the line saying, “I’m still here.” Tough circumstances can be intimidating for others and often be too much for them; almost an inconvenience and wanting to get back to the normal swing of things. This statement in and of itself is where I see my husband and I starting some sort of organization for people who need that constant support and people to journey with them all throughout. But, since we haven’t arrived at our destination yet, we will hold to that hope and know what it is that we wanted/needed while we went through it ourselves.

I don’t want to say that people haven’t volunteered their time now and again, but when you are in the fire of life hoping to come out refined, you need a constant relationship to help advise along the way. I can say we’ve had one couple who have supported us ruthlessly even when we haven’t wanted their help. I’m grateful for them and blessed to have their love and devotion to our family. This is what I am talking about. How come we want to run from problems of life? How come it’s easier to give up when you get tired, and how come we can’t remain constant for those in need?

I’m guilty of these questions as well. I long to offer my life to those around me; advise and support in all facets of life. When life gets messy, you tend to know who is there for you no matter the circumstances. It’s a true test of friendship and love. I think we all need to be reminded that God never said life was going to be easy and that we need not judge those around us. He hung out in the slums, treated those who are lesser than us with highest acceptance. Why do we want life to be so perfect and without inconveniences? Your life will be anything but that, as long as you keep running from it.

We all have our own junk in life that needs to be dealt with. We need honest relationships, real relationships and an extraordinary life. You’ve all heard me say many times to live a life extraordinary and not simply ordinary. Do you honestly believe you can achieve the extraordinary life without coming along people, sharing your struggles as well and not pretending? Relationships are difficult. Friends, relationships are DIFFICULT. They will only blossom when you put in what you want to get out.

Thanks to: www.suitqaisdiaries.com

So, with all of that, the million dollar question still remains in tangible form. What will bring me pure happiness. I can express the deep love and joy Christ has to offer each and every one of us but I think we need to step back and simply look at the relationships we hold with people and how we treat one another. The deeper issue will remain; we all need Christ, but on the surface we can’t have that deep relationship with Christ if we aren’t willing to get dirty and join our friends in the slums.

I can’t provide the answers I long to provide for my husband and our family, but I can help support and pray that God opens many doors and opens them soon. I also pray that our eyes would be open to the hardship knowing we are here for a reason. What we need to learn right now in this season is something I do not want to miss out on. I want that extraordinary life for my family and if that means we are in the fire to come out beyond refined, than by all means, let’s do it. I do not want the busy life that passes by without meaning and worth!

Moment of Truth: What friends do you enjoy being with when life is good? Do you hear the selfishness in that question? We all must give to those without expectation of what you can earn out of it. Life is difficult and will continue to be difficult. Do not dwell on the hardship but take the hardship and bring beauty from it. Help those around you without feeling inconvenienced. Be the love of Christ, not the love of our own flesh!

Waving Goodbye To My Patience

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 17 April, 2014 None comments

After the catastrophe of being in the hospital with my son and the traumatic events of losing my mother-in-law, I’ve been worn to the bone. I feel lifeless and worthless. My body is craving for sleep and sanity to resume. 5 days of forcing fluids with a syringe has been extremely exhausting and beyond description. It doesn’t sound like a lot but it is and you will not understand this process until every hour of your day is surrounded by fluid flushing to avoid a return to the hospital.

I’ve officially reached the end of my sanity. My cap has blown, I’m resembling Mt Saint Helens. Volcanic ash and steam burst from the top of the mountain traveling a large distance. The ash is spreading upon everything along it’s way leaving behind the aftermath of a poor, despicable attitude. This is me; my patience has been worn down to the point that I have lost my patience with anything and everything in sight.

Thanks to: blog.thezeitgeistmovement.com

Typically, I find myself to be pretty patient, accepting and a go-with-the-flow kind of girl. I will truthfully admit this wasn’t who I used to be but I’ve adapted over time. I do not remember the last time I’ve lost my patience so bad that literally anything my husband or son do, I want to rip their heads off. (Not literally, but you get the picture) The frustration of my son and the comments that accompany my husband has left me with a sour taste in my mouth. So sour that all I want to do is dispute every noise the it uttered from their mouth.

The moment I react, I immediately regret my response and the anger that has consumed my body. Embracing my son in a tight hug and a kiss for his innocent little soul, I quickly embrace him full of remorse. Unfortunately, my husband can process what I am saying and takes the outlandish comments on a more personal level while once again leaving me full of remorse and wanting to snuggle with him on the couch while we watch mindless TV; yet I still can’t bring myself to stop. I have spent the last countless days trying to hold things together, keep the family together and be the strong anchor for everything that has taken place. I’ve realized being strong can only last so long, it’s not about how strong I can be, it’s about being the support they need while knowing being strong doesn’t always come in the form of perfection. I’ve also realized that being a mommy and wife is a job that can be very taxing. Everyone needs something from me and it is always at the same time and sometimes mommy and wifey can’t do it all. Sometimes mommy and wifey just wants to be me without the titles of solving everything.

This is all coming from the depths of my selfishness longing to escape when life keeps happening around me. I would never take away being a mommy or a wife as I LOVE the responsibility that comes with is, but for the first time, I’ve actually wanted an escape. What would my escape look like? I’m not too sure, because going on vacation would involve my family. Anything I truly enjoy, I enjoy doing with my family. So, this twisted perspective that I need a break isn’t actually accurate.

I went to the salon yesterday for a good three hours so give my son a break from me losing my patience second by second. By the end of the evening, I was at it again feeling guilty as a laid his little head to sleep after “yelling” all day. My husband received a good three hours of drama since he walked through the door after work. As we went to bed, I apologized ruthlessly knowing I am an idiot now and again. My family is what is important, I need them to make it through the day. They are my love and life and I do not wish it away. I love the laughter that takes place and the two boys running rampantly throughout the house banging toys and screaming for joy. My husband and son put a smile on my face even when I get to the point of being utterly impatient, they are what makes my family a family.

Thanks to www.aniotaoftruth.com-

Realizing today is a new day and I can choose to respond from love and not from the brink of insanity is encouraging as life keeps up with the pace; never slowing down. Today I choose love, patience and enjoyment. I choose enjoyment not wanting to look back wishing I would have spent more time with the things that are important. Delighting in my family no matter the circumstances. They are there when life is happy, easy, hard and sad. They are what makes life go around!

Moment of Truth: We’ve all been there, having no patience to offer and a attitude of self-seeking. But when we look in the mirror at the end of the day what good came from it? Nothing! So, choose to delight in todays circumstances no matter what they bring. If you are in the hospital, forcing fluids, losing a parents, hating a job…..choose joy!

Cake Pops!!!

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 16 April, 2014 None comments

Today we stayed home yet again trying to recover from the mass amount of trauma the last couple weeks. We did take off to visit daddy at work and take him coffee to help lift his spirits. Due to the lack of nutrition my son has received in the past 6 days, I am desperate to give him anything and everything. This morning he took a donut and some eggs and ham for breakfast. This sounds like a lot of food but he eats like a bird and only had a couple bites of egg. I was so happy for him that I conveyed my happiness by rewarding him with a little powdered donut hole which he ate the whole thing. :)

As we were driving to Michael’s work to bless him with a coffee, Cooper spotted Starbucks before we even pulled in and immediately began asking for something. I have bought him many boxed Vanilla Milks in the past several days to help entice him to drink in order to stay hydrated. :) But to my surprise we wanted a cake pop which I gladly gave him. But not only did I give him one, I bought their 2 for $2.50 to save me $0.50. Or, if I’m honest, I wanted a bite as they are incredibly delicious.

He was so excited to receive this cake pop that he devoured it before we even reached daddy. He had the residue on his little lips when he gave daddy his welcoming kiss.

Realizing that he isn’t eating very much and still refusing liquids, I knew I was treating him a lot and that soon enough I would have to break a nasty habit. Avoiding this thought I was very thrilled he ate the whole thing and asked for another. :)

Moment of Truth: I’m delighting in the little things as a mom knowing that what used to be a concern for me is all but a breath of fresh air today!

Part II-Series of Traumatic Events

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 15 April, 2014 1 comments

As we were released from the hospital it wasn’t simply because Cooper was better, it was because he was not nearly as dehydrated and reached a psychosis state that became dangerous for him. His age range can not comprehend what is happening around him, but he can comprehend enough that tells him he is scared and wants to go buh-bye.

His hallucinations were beyond terrifying for me. I am his mother and there was NOTHING I could do to calm my child down. This was a horrible feeling and a “bad mom” feeling as well. Knowing I wasn’t a bad mom, you feel that way in the moment because your job as his mommy is to rescue him from the unknown. As time progressed in the hospital we only saw these hallucinations become more frequent and lasting longer. It was definitely scary for us as we were utterly helpless.

On our drive home he was completely quite and exhausted. He refused sleep even than. This part confused me as I knew he had been awake for 36 hours now; why wont he sleep? The combination of dehydration and lack of sleep only made this worse. Hoping once we reached home he would start to feel safe once again.

I laid him to sleep only for him to wake back up 2 hours later with another episode. My wishes that these were over were everything but true. At that moment I was beyond desperate and extremely tired myself, the only thing I knew to calm his little soul was to place him in the car and drive. After driving around aimlessly for an hour and a half I finally came home. The many stops while on our drive was anywhere and everywhere to continue to force liquids down his little mouth. He hated it so much that actually keeping him strapped in his car seat was helpful for me. It was beyond sad to have to “pin him down” to get fluids in him, but it was way better than living in the hospital another day.

Having to give him 10 syringes an hour took up the entire hour. As soon as I reached #10 I was so excited only to see the hour started all over again. Being home had its pluses but definitely was consumed with ONLY tackling him down to fill his little mouth with fluid. It was so horrible! He wanted to play so badly but had no energy to do so that he would get upset. It was so sad as a parent to watch this all unfold. Hoping for a good night sleep we had everything but that.

He proceeded to wake up every hour and a half and Michael had just come down with the terrible cold I had that caused Cooper’s hospitalization. It was a wretched night all over again and full of terrors. Finally, the morning approached and we were back to the syringe once again. He still wont drink fluids and I was confident we were not returning to the hospital due to dehydration. So, our day was consumed all over again.

Here we are day three home from the hospital and things are finally a little brighter. He slept through the night and decided to eat a donut hole and cake pops but still refuses liquid unless I syringe it. Not sure what this is all about but he lets me syringe him fluid but still refuses to sip on his own. It’s tiring. It’s time consuming. It has worn my patience immensely thin and it’s not his fault. My exhaustion has finally set in even after a decent night sleep last night that I found myself getting so irritated with Cooper this morning as he only wanted to be held.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to dress and shower when this takes place. Reminding myself that we are home, he’s eating a little even though it’s not healthy and he is allowing me to force fluids; I need not complain. After losing my patience while trying to blow dry my hair, I realized I am not delighting in what I had been yearning for; to be home and have a healthy little boy. Though he isn’t entirely healthy yet, he is on the upswing.

Moment of Truth: Reminding myself not to get caught up in the little things but to be grateful for the little things. AND I am entirely blessed that I have the bestest friend and sister to supply us with a couple dinners not leaving me to worry about such things.

Thought to Ponder

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 15 April, 2014 None comments

“It is not who you are that holds you back, it is who you think you’re NOT that keeps you from achieving your goals.”

Thanks to www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org-

Thought of the day

Posted by Delightfully Doable on 14 April, 2014 None comments

This song was on the radio this morning and im not sure who sings it but the words held in my head for a bit. “Make me lonely so I can be yours until I want no one more then you Lord. In the darkness I know you hold me.”…boy has this been utterly true. Almost too true I didnt want to face this reality.

It’s interesting that this world is so horrible at times, yet even in the midst of the pain we still pray to stay alive. But why? Wouldn’t it be easier to all quit and go to heaven and avoid all the pain? This was my thought as I slowly begin to process this past week. Even though the three of us went through it all together, I believe my fear was selfishly driven from fear of losing my son and being left behind. The tough reality in knowing that he is ultimately the Lords child is a wake up call in the midst of tragedy. This was a trusting moment as I was in the hospital pleading with the Lord to not take my son away. This was a moment of trust, a moment of insecurity, and a moment of doubt.

Do I believe the Lord will hold all things together for the good of those who love Him? To be honest I am still struggling with that thought, had he taken my son away from me I do not know how I would feel. I want to trust the Lord in every aspect of life, but when your faced with life and death, is your faith in your son or in the Lord? I pray that I never have to experience that brokenness but to simply learn to be thankful for what I have today.

Moment of Truth: I pray that I will learn through the present circumstances to be thankful for the life I have been given and the son I have been blessed with.