The Depth Of Our Choices

Our sins carry a weight we think we can manage, yet we can’t. This is when depression, anxiety, insecurity, worthlessness, doubt and much more seep in.

This song talks about washing our burdens away. Placing them in the river and laying down our sin that we weren’t meant to carry. In the water we allow Christ to wash us clean and watch our sins float down yonder, never to live under that yolk again. Christ has given us this joyous opportunity to meet us in the midst of our sin, not having to do anything but surrender.

We’ve all been at that point where life literally weighs us down, feeling we can’t get up and carry our burdens for the day. I always picture Christ carrying the cross on the path to His crucifixion; beaten along the way, weighed down, barely able to move yet still given the strength to carry the cross for us. For me, this is the greatest picture when I feel my burdens are strangling me; if Christ can do it, I know I have the strength to push through.

Lately I’ve continually talked about our sins and the deep impact they have not only on us, but everyone around us. I have been in the midst of the trial for awhile and I feel this is when I grow closer to the Lord. If that’s all that comes from the hurt and pain in this world, than I can rest assured I am living the life that is refining my soul and allowing eternity to be changed rather than seeking material possessions that will pass away.

As mentioned many times, just over two years ago I gave my life to Christ. I promised I would live a life that Christ has called for me, going where He asks, keeping my feet planted in the Word and allowing my life to shine for Him and Him alone. With this commitment I asked God to please make my life extraordinary as living the ordinary life wasn’t something I wanted to partake in day in and day out. I know if I seek Christ for direction, He is longing to meet me at those crossroads giving me that extraordinary life. Through these past two years God has had to bring me to my face in humility; shedding my pride and control to prepare me for that extraordinary life. I like to think I am in boot camp. I wish I was done with boot camp as it has been very exhausting to keep my eyes on the prize when giving up seems to be the easier way out. Two years ago when I was pregnant with my son Cooper, I knew taking the path of truth wasn’t going to be easy but I did now it would be the best path for our family and for my son. His little innocence was more important to me than my pride and my own selfish ways. I knew I had to take up my cross and follow Him no matter the cost. It was my only hope.

They say having kids changes you; boy is that true. I’ve become a woman I never knew existed and could become as quickly as I have. My husband and I battle that quite often as my motives in life are firmly grounded in Christ. Most my decisions are black and white. There is no middle ground, no room for negotiation. If the decision is clearly laid out in the Bible than I have no hesitation. As it says in the Psalms Seek my heart and see if there is any evil way within me. I want to grow and grow beyond my own strength. I want to be that mother and wife that lives a life that only Christ could have done. I will not settle. Sometimes I allow my own ‘problems’ to cloud my perspective and I can quickly believe that everything is a waste. Sometimes it takes moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day to remind myself of this as I will never fully get there while on this earth. But Christ will prevail, evil was already conquered. So when I continually make mistakes and say dumb comments, I know there is still hope and grace to be received.

Even though our sin has great pain and depth to it, the great news is you do not need to sit in it. Pick up the pieces and move ahead learning from them rather than continuing the small choices that seem innocent; they will ruin your life at some point leaving you unfulfilled and unaccomplished. I’m very passionate and living proof that this is possible. Have some faith, truly believe it is possible.

Moment of Truth: Don’t live in the midst of your sin making excuses for your continual patterns and habits. Repent and let go, watch them float down the river. Break through the concrete holding your feet in the muck rather then becoming free and running to glory and peace. Ask God to take you deeper still. He will take us if we ask and are willing to move.