Tired of Life
Exhaustion, fatigue, lazy, tired, pj’s, sleep, sweatpants, bed, pillow, blanket, backache, headache, achy and feeling sick all the time.
This is how I have felt for the past two months. I’m sick of complaining about it but most of all I’m sick of not feeling good. It is beyond discouraging. I cannot figure out how to conquer the way my body feels right now. I’ve tried working out, I’ve tried drinking coffee all day long. I’ve tried getting more sleep. I’ve had less sleep. NOTHING has worked. My body literally is worn out.
Realizing this morning that life is utterly draining and everything is meaningless–to a point. Christ created us for so much more and lately I’ve really been struck with the fact that I long for heaven. I long for heaven in a way I’ve never longed for before. We love life so much and hold so tightly to the exciting things we get to experience while here in our temporary home. We hesitate to say we are ready for heaven, but why is that? Everything we enjoy in this life will be in heaven but ten times more unimaginable than we can even dream up. We tend to portray heaven as a last resort when it should be our first priority. Heaven will be more fun than anything we could do on this earth. The beautiful scenery, waterfalls, blue beach water, sandy beaches, beautiful sunsets will all be that much more beautiful in heaven. Plus, I believe there will be more to see than what we see here on earth.
And to be completely honest, women love fashion and I will hold to it that these things we enjoy, we will also get to enjoy in heaven but will probably be piddly compared to what we believe about fashion these days. Our priorities will change completely but it’s not wrong to hope for certain things in heaven. God created pleasure and godly pleasure will not disappear. Our minds can only fathom what lies ahead. So why not take the plunge, why not yearn for heaven unlike anything we have ever yearned for. No tears, check! No heartache, check! No cancer or illness, double check!
If we learn to long for heaven, we will learn to live for heaven. What I mean is this. We will begin to make our days count. Our time spent with the kids will become more meaningful. Our date nights will be better spent communicating about things that matter rather then fighting over parenting our children. We will learn to live for heaven if we choose to long for heaven.
I look at my son in the midst of the trials of life and realize how this innocent boy is directly effected by what his parents endure. Our kids have no choice to avoid our conflict, irritation, outbreaks or sleepless nights. Our attitudes result in our response to our children. They learn by what we do, not what we say.
It makes me sick that our hardships in life influence our children on such a direct level. Resulting in an attitude change either in insecurity, emotional hardship, tantrums or for older kids, the silent treatment. Their lack of understanding results in them trying to pick up the pieces in their own way, while trying to make sense of something that was normal the day before, or maybe an hour ago. Their world gets turned upside down while we wish it didn’t touch their lives. Like it or not our attitude transfers to them. Our circumstances directly effect our children. This is the price we pay by living in a fallen world.
So, are your kids yearning for heaven? Are they talking about Christ and living a life of fullness? Probably not and you may even think I’m crazy for posing such a question. But think about it, isn’t that our purpose here on earth? If you believe this, than why wouldn’t you teach this to your children? Everything that has breath, shall praise the Lord. There’s no age limits and restrictions for making our life count for God and Him alone!
We need to learn to keep perspective. We need to ask God to use us on a daily basis not only with friends and activities, but within our own home. We need to remember what this life is all about when we get caught searching for something more; something more fulfilling than the mundane of life. Though your children are simply being kids, remember that they learn by watching YOU.
So lets take it back to the basics. Life is tiring, busy, uneventful, too eventful, routine and unpredictable. When these feelings start to set in, I have to remind myself why I am a mom, wife, friend and daughter. God has a great purpose here for me and I need to be willing to take on that task. I must not let my life pass by and have no purpose or goals. Though this world is dark, scary, painful and full of fear and sickness, God will bring redemption and manifest Himself in the darkest holes of life, the holes we think no light can enter. That’s right where God is. Do you see Him? Do you feel Him? Probably not, but He gives you that strength to take your next breath and remind you that this is OUR TEMPORARY HOME. We must not feel comfortable, embrace each day and keep your face to the sky asking for God’s glory to shine on you and give you the strength you need for that very moment.
We can only see a glimpse into the bigger picture. Don’t let your broken view be skewed by the world around you.
Moment of Truth: What would it look like if you started longing for heaven and the riches of Gods glory each moment of every day while you still live in your temporary home? What would you change in your daily routine to keep Christ the fulfillment of your day?
Faith is remembering that in the kingdom of God everything is based on promise and not feeling. Rejecting the feeling of panic when things seem out of control.