Tag Archives: Life

Measure 92 And The Right To Know

I believe 100% that measure 92 in Oregon was a scam. The right to know what’s in our food was the most expensive measure yet.

A little frustration comes out while being a mom who cares about what she feeds her family. Measure 92 was all about the right to know what is hidden within our food. Our foolish state voted against this….. or did they?

I begin to wonder how much is really based off the public vote verses a political scam. I believe we have our “freedom” to vote but ultimately certain measures and laws are truly left up to congress. I do not believe we have full control with voting and honestly believe this is where politics comes in to play.

“We have a right to know important information about the food we eat and feed our families – such as sugar and sodium levels, whether flavors are natural or artificial, and if fish is wild or farm-raised. We should also have the right to choose whether we want to buy and eat genetically modified (GMO) food, just like 64 other countries already do. Labeling GMO foods would assist shoppers who are concerned about the potential effects of increased pesticides and herbicides to make informed purchasing decisions at the store.”

Tell me, why would people not want to know what’s in their food to the point of commissioning against it? I do not get this and think it’s a huge political scam. I truly believe that this measure was political based and not based off the public vote.

If you read this article, you will see that the argument against farmers spending millions of dollars to adhere to this law is foolish. http://bit.ly/1pF6x3p

This is my personal opinion but I strongly believe we have the freedom to vote but ultimately our votes wont count against a dilemma that would hinder any further money spent upon something we should “know” about. I believe our votes only count to a certain extent and are politically monitored.

This is a very frustrating topic and is only an Oregon based decision in regards to measure 92, but I’ve seen this even with presidency and truly wonder sometimes if our congress and presidents have truly been 100% based off the public. I don’t believe so….

This is simply food for thought and getting a bit of my frustration out when it comes to freedom of speech and freedom to “know.” There are limits even within our own country.


Tired of Life

Tired of Life

Exhaustion, fatigue, lazy, tired, pj’s, sleep, sweatpants, bed, pillow, blanket, backache, headache, achy and feeling sick all the time.

This is how I have felt for the past two months. I’m sick of complaining about it but most of all I’m sick of not feeling good. It is beyond discouraging. I cannot figure out how to conquer the way my body feels right now. I’ve tried working out, I’ve tried drinking coffee all day long. I’ve tried getting more sleep. I’ve had less sleep. NOTHING has worked. My body literally is worn out.

Thanks to cynthiacavanaugh.com

Thanks to cynthiacavanaugh.com

Realizing this morning that life is utterly draining and everything is meaningless–to a point. Christ created us for so much more and lately I’ve really been struck with the fact that I long for heaven. I long for heaven in a way I’ve never longed for before. We love life so much and hold so tightly to the exciting things we get to experience while here in our temporary home. We hesitate to say we are ready for heaven, but why is that? Everything we enjoy in this life will be in heaven but ten times more unimaginable than we can even dream up. We tend to portray heaven as a last resort when it should be our first priority. Heaven will be more fun than anything we could do on this earth. The beautiful scenery, waterfalls, blue beach water, sandy beaches, beautiful sunsets will all be that much more beautiful in heaven. Plus, I believe there will be more to see than what we see here on earth.

And to be completely honest, women love fashion and I will hold to it that these things we enjoy, we will also get to enjoy in heaven but will probably be piddly compared to what we believe about fashion these days. Our priorities will change completely but it’s not wrong to hope for certain things in heaven. God created pleasure and godly pleasure will not disappear. Our minds can only fathom what lies ahead. So why not take the plunge, why not yearn for heaven unlike anything we have ever yearned for. No tears, check! No heartache, check! No cancer or illness, double check!

If we learn to long for heaven, we will learn to live for heaven. What I mean is this. We will begin to make our days count. Our time spent with the kids will become more meaningful. Our date nights will be better spent communicating about things that matter rather then fighting over parenting our children. We will learn to live for heaven if we choose to long for heaven.

I look at my son in the midst of the trials of life and realize how this innocent boy is directly effected by what his parents endure. Our kids have no choice to avoid our conflict, irritation, outbreaks or sleepless nights. Our attitudes result in our response to our children. They learn by what we do, not what we say.

It makes me sick that our hardships in life influence our children on such a direct level. Resulting in an attitude change either in insecurity, emotional hardship, tantrums or for older kids, the silent treatment. Their lack of understanding results in them trying to pick up the pieces in their own way, while trying to make sense of something that was normal the day before, or maybe an hour ago. Their world gets turned upside down while we wish it didn’t touch their lives. Like it or not our attitude transfers to them. Our circumstances directly effect our children. This is the price we pay by living in a fallen world.

So, are your kids yearning for heaven? Are they talking about Christ and living a life of fullness? Probably not and you may even think I’m crazy for posing such a question. But think about it, isn’t that our purpose here on earth? If you believe this, than why wouldn’t you teach this to your children? Everything that has breath, shall praise the Lord. There’s no age limits and restrictions for making our life count for God and Him alone!


Thanks to www.southerninlaw.com

We need to learn to keep perspective.  We need to ask God to use us on a daily basis not only with friends and activities, but within our own home. We need to remember what this life is all about when we get caught searching for something more; something more fulfilling than the mundane of life. Though your children are simply being kids, remember that they learn by watching YOU.

So lets take it back to the basics. Life is tiring, busy, uneventful, too eventful, routine and unpredictable. When these feelings start to set in, I have to remind myself why I am a mom, wife, friend and daughter. God has a great purpose here for me and I need to be willing to take on that task. I must not let my life pass by and have no purpose or goals. Though this world is dark, scary, painful and full of fear and sickness, God will bring redemption and manifest Himself in the darkest holes of life, the holes we think no light can enter. That’s right where God is. Do you see Him? Do you feel Him? Probably not, but He gives you that strength to take your next breath and remind you that this is OUR TEMPORARY HOME. We must not feel comfortable, embrace each day and keep your face to the sky asking for God’s glory to shine on you and give you the strength you need for that very moment.

We can only see a glimpse into the bigger picture. Don’t let your broken view be skewed by the world around you.

Moment of Truth: What would it look like if you started longing for heaven and the riches of Gods glory each moment of every day while you still live in your temporary home? What would you change in your daily routine to keep Christ the fulfillment of your day?

Faith is remembering that in the kingdom of God everything is based on promise and not feeling. Rejecting the feeling of panic when things seem out of control. 

~Pamela Reeve

A Cloud Of Insecurity

A cloud of insecurity raining over my head calling me Eeyore from Winning The Pooh. Head hung low, shaking my head from side to side trying to escape what this cloud is dropping upon me.

Is life hard, kind of, but not where it was the past three years. Or maybe that’s it…maybe that’s where it all comes from. These past three years of heavy downpour, torrential downpour finally gaining suns first bright beams. A flower bud popping through the surface as if the rain has finally let up. The clouds stay low from the evening dew but still the sun shines through.


I had to post this picture as it depicts really well the gloomy rain cloud with sun shining all around.

These past 26 days have been a miracle. Truly a miracle. This has been my long awaited miracle for our family but why am I struggling to shake the weight from my shoulders? Why can’t I seem to pull myself from the covers in the morning that rest upon me allowing me to escape for a few hours. The sound of pessimism begins to fill my mind with things that do-not-matter.

I’ve prayed, fasted, yearned, pleaded and cried out to God on my face many times and God finally looked down upon me and showed His glory; He choose to lift my rain cloud and bless my family eternally. Though this miracle has eternal ramifications, our worldly hope and despair still press upon us leaving me feeling conquered but with Hope. Let me say that again, the hope of God with the weight of the worldly sin still pressed strongly upon me. God is present though we live in a sinful world. God doesn’t necessarily take circumstances away but shines through the circumstances producing a humble heart ready to glorify God no matter the pain. We long for God the most, in the midst of our “shattered dreams.”

Doubt. Fear. Insecurity. Rage. Pride. Anxiety. These all still reign in my head. How do I release the struggle of my flesh when I finally received this long awaited miracle after three long years of seeking God’s face?  I’m beginning to understand, though 26 days later, that this rain cloud following me around is a rain cloud of repair. Repairing my soul, my trust and my hope. Putting the pieces back together of insecurity and doubt. Forcing me to go that extra step saying “God, I still trust You. Though my three years of misery are coming to an end, I will still trust in the next three years ahead!” These are the new giants in my life, I need to accept them for they will make me stronger still.

I’ve prayed only a few times in life that the Lord do whatever it takes to bring my long awaited miracle. The fear and dread of praying that also plagued me. “Do you know what you could be asking for?” “Do you know what Job went through?” “Do you really want to release that question and battle the consequences? Boy you think you got it bad now, well that prayer will make it get 10x’s worse.” These are question I had to face when I finally got to the end of myself pleading with the Lord. Fine, take it all as long as you fulfill Your promise.

I will be honest, I was scared to death but more scared to not pray it. At that particular point in my life, I knew I had no option but to pray this prayer and earnestly await the response. Was the response easy, by no means, but was God glorified through it, absolutely. What Satan intends for evil, God turns around and turns to good. God be glorified!

The battle raged and is still raging, though I feel the presence of not only the Holy Spirit but the Angels surrounding my family with their swords fighting the unseen battle. I feel it and can truly sense the deep dark battle fighting for my life. I know it’s there and it is a continual reminder that God is faithful! God is who He says He is. Though my life may pass me by, I cling to the Father up above as that is the only thing that satisfies and fulfills my soul. Nothing else matters!

My husband and I have both come to the end result that nothing matters. Say it with me “nothing matters.” What a release from bondage and security to truly believe nothing else matters. The King of the universe has conquered evil and reigns on high. Amen. My rain cloud is simply that, a rain cloud. It wont last forever, it sees sunny days and gloomy days and both are okay. God is growing me in the midst of what I call life. Life is anything and everything of what I ever had pictured the past 28 years of my life and I am thankful. Though it may be utterly painful at times, those are the times I see God move and bring me closer to Him.

These next 26 days will be an adventure. I use that word because past circumstances do not simply disappear. They can diminish and eventually the fire will be put out, but through knowing Christ and experiencing our shattered dreams that bring us closer to Him, we still have to go through the trenches while we live in this sinful world. Putting the pieces back together as when Humpty Dumpty fell to the ground and shattered to a million pieces. Who is the one that could perfectly heal Humpty? Christ. And that is right where we need to be; a malleable heart seeking the face of God.

When we begin to scratch the surface of who God is even in the midst of our shattered dreams, we can hold our rain cloud high to the sky and know God is there with us and wants the best for us. We can learn more about ourselves and more about who Christ has made us to be in Him.

I love my family, love my friends, long for fellowship, long to know Christ more and to share Him with the world on a very honest level. But most of all, most of all, I yearn for heaven. I never yearned for heaven as I do now. Not in a way that I’m hating life and suicidal, but in a way that I hate the evil of this world and want to share Christ with everyone and head to heaven holding hands with my family and enter into the real world. The world without pain, tears and sorrow. The world I can share peacefully with my family and truly know and understand what it means to experience unconditional love. A love so pure that even with my own family I have the tiniest glimpse in comparison to heaven. I can’t fathom a love so pure. Having a family is the closest I can get to feeling this accomplishment on this side of heaven.

So friends, my shattered dreams may appear shattered but in all reality they are perfection. God’s perfection. He turns ashes into beauty, literally beauty and I am blessed. Things I never thought could happen in a million years literally has already happened in my 26 days of a miracle. Praise God for His Son and praise God for His faithfulness.

Lets Talk Fly Larvae

Seriously, have any of you heard of FLY LARVAE before? I have had no concept of fly larvae– until today that is. But I do deeply wish I was still naive and had no concept of what I am about to share with all of you.

So take my hand as we travel this dark road together.

First, lets start by talking about the nasty outbreaks around MY home. Yes, I have purposely failed to mention this prior to now as I did not want to be perceived as a dirty, grungy ol’ housewife. To my knowledge, our house is pretty clean. I feel I do the best to keep a good deep clean on a weekly basis.

Mopping, bathrooms, vacuuming daily, dusting, sweeping, laundry, folding clothes etc. But it’s the little 2 year old whose sleeping in the next room right now that may not help keep things ever so clean. The crumbs here, the crumbs there. Spilt milk here, dried oatmeal there. Okay so I try my darnedest to keep the house spotless even with him running around and do not always have 100% success.

With that in mind, I arrived home one afternoon and was greeted by these nasty creatures directly outside of our door. Hundreds covering the ground and “welcome” mat. I freaked out and jumped over them to get inside and quickly slam the door behind me. “Ew ew ew” I screamed as Cooper was hoping up and down as if I was the latest and greatest mom ever and screaming right along with me “ew ew ew.”

Immediately I call our pest control company (who by the way is ECO friendly for the little ones). About an hour later I creep my way outside to toss a dirty diaper and hundreds, seriously hundreds had covered our entire green garbage can. Deeply appalled by the lack of green showing, I rush back in the house skipping and hoping over what could be the worlds nastiest unknown creature and begin to spring clean my house. Literally deep cleaning! It was as if the dried oatmeal-spilt milk scenario began to haunt me and make me feel like a failure of a mother for missing the crumbs on the dark floor that blend in so well. The crumbs brought upon this “maggot” crisis and now I just failed my one duty as a housewife.

My worst case secnario moment played rapidly through my brain and I began to envision these creatures taking over my home and sleeping in bed with us and hiding in our food. Crunch!


Okay so yay for my nightmare not coming true but only in my head. And yay for them remaining outside….for the moment (apart from the 5 I found on our carpet and wood floor).

Anyway, lets not get distracted here…

Unbeknownst to me, these creatures were seen previously this week at another neighbors house in their garage. Our pest guy proceeded to tell me he’s never seen so many of these creatures before, until now. Lucky me!

What causes them and what are they you may ask? The are fly larvae (it must be mating season).

Did you even know such a thing existed because I sure as heck didn’t. He said the front door made absolutely no sense to him but the garbage can definitely answered some questions. Flies love garbage. They hatched their nasty little eggs and he tried to calm my soul by saying most of them do not make it out alive. Well they sure did make it far enough to our door before they all died off. Which is not so calming!

Let me share a little something with you. They have the GROSSEST bodies and mouths ever. They have no head, it’s an open hole that squirms and flops around. It is so disgusting and quite frankly, I did not want to deal with this situation.

Have I turned your stomach yet? I hope so because honestly, this was not an experience I wanted to partake in on my own. So I hope you are having fun on this journey with me :)

Okay one last horrific picture and than I’m done, I promise!


Isn’t it pretty?

Tell me, just what would you do if you found hundreds of these on your wood floor or carpet? Okay, now tell me what you would do coming home to hundreds of them at your front door to greet you??

It’s definitely not a pleasant picture and I still squirm even sharing this information with you.

I hope you all enjoyed my story and come back again tomorrow for another juicy, squirmy conversation on the popping sound they make when you squish them. ;)

Okay we wont get into that, I promise the grossness is done…. for now anyway ;)

Sleep tight my friends, don’t let the bed bugs bite!

Motives Of The Heart

Motives of the Heart

1 Corinthians 4:5
“…God will reveal what is hidden and the motives of our heart.”

Lord, I long to stand blameless before you with pure motives to live a life worthy of your calling. A life that influences others hearts and brings people to their knees in awe of who You are. Lord Jesus, I pray for a right mind as I bring up my child in the way he should go. I pray for my patience and that it would come from You. I pray that my teaching would reside deep within him that Jesus is Lord. I pray that I will always be the light of Christ when living in my marriage. I pray I would not cause my husband to stumble but grow deeper in his new-found love for You.


Every day is a day battling our flesh and mind. Oh how easy it is for your thoughts to wander even while reading the Word of God. Take your minds captive, let God show us the steps for today.


Put your faith to the test. Stand in awe of Christ with a thankful heart. Find miracles in hardship. Find miracles in pain. Find miracles in the places we think can’t be reached; God is there.

Allow God to release you of the sins of this world.

Friends, you’ve heard me talk about this over and over again. Life is extremely distorted and burdensome to the world who knows not of Christ. Our family was faced with yet another “tragedy” this week. I use that word lightly because in the midst of fear, pain, tears and uncertainties, God is and was there! I’ve counted more than ten blessings in one nights tragedy that God was gracious towards, yes ten blessings. This blessings were no “little” blessings either, these were huge, massive, gigantic blessings that the Lord spared us from. His mighty hand rested gently upon His children. More importantly when this tragedy hit, the Lord was glorified three days later! The angels sang, the trumpets played and heaven praised as another child came to the foot of the cross begging for forgiveness and submitting their life to Christ. Through this tragedy, eternity sings and forever God is glorified. Can I get an amen?

Experiencing tragedy is a nightmare we long to avoid but God was ever so present in SO many ways. And I will step out an a limb and bring the uncomfortable to fruition that in every trial, tragedy, heartache and loss, GOD IS THERE. We must look for the blessings! I promise they are there even when you think there is no blessing to be found. The worst scenario possible still brings about God’s glory because God has already overcome evil. Victory already wins.

This heartache we experienced was a life altering situation BUT God longs to use this for His kingdom and bring others to Christ just as he did three days later. I pray for you in the midst of your tragedy whether big or small that God meets you there. I pray you don’t push it aside as God is longing for you to rest in His arms and allow Him to be the Potter, Maker, Chief and King of your burden.

No matter where you are in life, your face will never be hidden from the true Light!

Psalms 139:8 “If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there.” Our face will never be hidden from His great light!

Do not hold onto lies, addictions, anger, resentment, bitterness and pride. God sees the worst and the best in us, we cannot hide from Him as we can attempt to hide from our spouse, family, friends and neighbors. He already knows your hearts contention so please release yourself to Christ and He will bring you strength; refreshing your soul of all that was not of Him!

Moment of Truth: Where we are broken, God is there. Where we are wounded, God is there. Where life is empty, God is there.


Captive woman’s rescuer fought with kidnapper

We have some sick people in this world. This story shows the utter depravity of the human race. The fight to rule our own lives and the disaster it brings not only on oneself but to those around who are directly effected. 

Life is a sticky mess without Christ. This displays yet again the deep need for a Savior. I pray for the woman who was kidnapped and I pray for the man who saved her that they both would be saved by the true Master of the World, Jesus Christ.

Friends, it is not that hard to slip up and make poor decisions, but the more you walk in the world, the more blind you become. Please take root and hold tightly to the Truth and don’t walk the line. Do not be tempted nor put yourself in positions that will cause great disaster by one false move.

Read article here: http://bit.ly/1CW2qTF

Thanks to KGW

Thanks to KGW

Pray continuously to avoid horrible, life-altering consequences.

The Oregon Trail Ends Here

The Oregon Trail Ends Here

So unbeknownst to me, the end of the Oregon Trail ends literally in our backyard. Okay not quite but basically five minutes from our doorstep to the threshold of our historic east-west large wheeled wagon route and emigrant trail that connected the Missouri River to valleys in Oregon. Or yet again, better known as our backyard. 


I decided since we frequent Home Depot on an all too regular basis and pass this historic site every time we go there, that it was about time we stopped and journeyed around.

It’s a small stationed wagon that symbolizes the blood, sweat and tears that came from this journey and finally ending in Oregon City, OR.


The rugged wood…


Monuments along the path…

IMG_6429A little history you may not know.
IMG_6434Luckily Cooper is still so young, picking rocks was definitely a sweet spot on our journey. 

This my friends was a long trek. 

I’m not sure Cooper would have sufficed on this trek, but then again it is a different day and age. We are blessed to be born in the era we are.


Admiring the large wheel!


Hot and tired…he definitely was flushed and needed a break…(phew)


Break time over, lets grab the toys and get going.

Our journey back to the car…

They did a good job at portraying the blood, sweat and tears. This monument is worth seeing only because we live in Oregon and deserve to give history a “thank you” for what they have done for us thus far.


Lets continue to make America a proud country by leaving a legacy worth dying for; nothing less.


We’re Going Camping Now We’re On Our Way…

We’re Going Camping Now We’re On Our Way…

“We’re going camping now we’re on our way. We’re gonna climb up a mountain and run and jump and play…” This was a song from my childhood. I have no idea who sang it and what it was on, but it definitely is still a memory my entire family holds. :)

We went camping last year but Cooper was a little too young to remember. I on the other hand, remember all too well. Not an ounce of sleep was able to rest upon my droopy eyes.

Cooper had an incredible time playing in the dirt and water but by the time bedtime approached he could not fall asleep. I believe the noise was ever so present from surrounding campsites that he was so confused. He was too young to explain this to, so we bore the brunt of our sleeping while holding him and walking around. Sitting in the car trying to fall asleep. Nothing worked!

So with that beautiful story in mind, we took the risk and headed out again this year…. crazy aren’t we?


He was excited to go to the “big park” as we had no other idea how to explain camping.

Watching the Gator drive around was his biggest highlight.


Trying to get a squirrel up a tree with the tent poles…. needless to say, it did not workout for him.

IMG_6603Daddy and Cooper setting up the tent…


Rather playing with the tent! Shouting and screaming for joy!


What an accomplishment….the succeed at tent making!

IMG_6599Going for one night was a lot of work, but not knowing how Cooper would sleep, wasn’t worth the chance of a two plus camping trip.

Getting dinner prepared with a twig and a blanket on the table wasn’t too easy! But the Buffalo Blue Cheese Chicken Burgers were fantastic!


Story time before bed! He loved it! 
IMG_6590Forgetting our mattress pump, Michael believes he can work up enough air to fill this sucker up. I’m not sure he succeed though I’ll leave that to your imagination.


Chillaxin’ or shall I say getting ready to pass out from all the air loss.


Good morning sunshine….6 am sharp, this little monster was up and ready to play. Luckily he slept through the entire night! Praise Jesus because I think we all would have reached insanity after being up all night!

IMG_6593Whoops, my mascara was played with by a little rascal.
IMG_6594We had a lot of fun but it definitely is a lot of work to camp over night and even though Cooper slept through the night, Michael and I were still pooped the next morning! We had fun and would totally do it again…next summer! 

Maybe a yurt, this time around!

You Know Mama Needs A Break When…..

You Know Mama Needs A Break When…..

Mama needs a break when….

Your son not only lays toys on the dishwasher with sharp objects but displays his entire weight upon the lid as well… (luckily it didn’t break)


You know mama needs a break when…

Your 2 year old is allowed to play with razor sharp nail scissors.


“How come she’s not yelling at me?”

You know mama needs a break when…

Multiple sharp objects are spread across the floor giving your son multiple options to hurt himself…

…and I do nothing to stop him!

Sometimes we all have days where we let our kids do anything and everything to simply stay happy. This day unfortunately brought about lots of sharp objects. He repeatedly said “ouchie, ouchie” and continued to play with them while I smiled down upon my child as if he just said his first word.

Passion Crumbled

Passion Crumbled

I’ve been reading a book by Larry Crabb called Shattered Dreams. He talks about the impossibility to truly know Jesus until we face trials of many kinds; shattered dreams. He proclaims all throughout the book about what it means to feel Jesus, hear Jesus, and rest in His presence.

“Shattered dreams are never random. They are always a piece in a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story. The Holy Spirit uses the pain of shattered dreams to help us discover our desire for God, to help us begin dreaming the highest dream…Larry Crabb retells and illuminates this sometimes disturbing and often profoundly touching story, we are shown how God stripped Naomi of happiness in order to prepare her for joy. And we gain an unforgettable picture of how God uses shattered dreams to release better dreams and a more fulfilling life for those He loves.”

I’ve wavered back and forth on whether I truly agree with everything in his book, but I tell ya, he’s a tough cookie to crack. He has multiple points, great stories and real life experience. As I continue to read each page, I begin to feel conviction. Not conviction that I shouldn’t have dreams for my life, my husband, marriage and son, but dreams that when I see shatter before my eyes, I need to rest in the Shadow of His wings and find Peace. God meets us in our weakest, most desolate places of our soul. He longs to revive the passion we so desperately long to feel. He longs to fulfill our dreams beyond comprehension. And He will. It may not be had on this earth, but when we see Christ face to face, our dreams will forever be met with no tears or suffering. Our long-suffering will be worth every tear we cried, every sorrow had and we will be forever with Christ never seeing our dreams shatter again. What a miracle, literally a miracle.

This world does not hold such an idea of no pain and sorrow. Our eyes become wet more often than not. The news of a newborns death, fatal car crash, suicide, crumbled marriages, broken families, false gods and spiritual warfare are ever so present. We only dream of a day that no pain exists anymore. Our minds cannot comprehend such an idea.

As I was reading this book, I found myself not wanting to believe that pain brings us closer to God. I immediately wanted to put the book down and never turn another page. I felt as though the more pages turned, the more pain I would encounter that I so desperately wanted to avoid. Deep down, I know God doesn’t work that way; playing on the battles of my mind. But I still wasn’t ready to embark on another terribly painful road. I wanted to stop on the side of the path and take a breather from the past 3-5 years of hardship. I wanted to hear God speak to me that I’ll receive a break, but as each page turned, I realized though the hardship of the past 3-5 years was painfully difficult, the miracle that resided within the pain is my relationship with Christ. Going deeper with Christ, knowing Christ and desiring Christ. That is how I would sum up the past three years if I had to. Yes pain resided. Yes heartache was to be had, but the joy of knowing my Savior and His deep, unspeakable love for me, His child, was beyond comprehension that only He could allow me to feel. Had I not walked the road of hardship the past 3 years, I would not know Christ the way I do today. And let me tell you, I have barely cracked the surface of who Christ really is.

My passion for Christ was not crumbled but ignited. The deepest parts of our soul is where God so desperately longs to meet each and everyone of us, but we tend to put guards up and quickly get through the pain we are currently experiencing ever so quickly to move on to the next phase in life. We are called to rest, seek and know God. He desires the deepest dreams of our hearts to be met. He wants to fulfill them in ways we cannot fathom, but more often then not, our dreams being met, look entirely different than we envision. And that  my friends is Faith; trusting God to fulfill your deepest desires, protect your heart and bring you closer to Him even when life is incredibly messy. 

Be still and know that I am God. (Psalms 46:10)

Living in dependence on Me is a glorious adventure. Most people scurry around busily, trying to accomplish things through their own strength and ability. Some succeed enormously; others fail miserably. But both groups miss what life is meant to be: living and working in collaboration with Me.

When you depend on Me continually, your whole perspective changes. You see miracles happening all around, while others see only natural occurrences and “coincidences.” You begin each day with joyful expectation, watching to see what I will do. You accept weakness as a gift from Me, knowing that My Power plugs in most readily to consecrated weakness. You keep your plans tentative, knowing that My plans are far superior. You consciously live, move, and have your being in Me, desiring that I live in you. I in you, and you in Me. This is the intimate adventure I offer you.

-Sarah Young

The promise of Hope is here. God longs to meet each and every one of us in the midst of our pain. The question you must ask yourself is if you are allowing Him to. Or are you quickly trying to push through the “trial” and move on with life? That my friends is an honest soul seeking question and you must be fully honest with yourself when choosing to answer that. I find every time I enter a trial of any kind, I want to rid it immediately from my life rather than seek what God is trying to accomplish within my soul and how He is longing for me to go deeper with Him.

Through reading this book Shattered Dreams, I could pinpoint a couple times in my life where my dreams were ultimately shattered and one in particular that still may be shattered forever. Or is it? Is it truly shattered or is God going to full that dream in a way I never saw possible or desired. A way that may not be what I long for, a way that doesn’t seem fit for me? This dream I am talking about is the dream of having a large family. I have one little miracle sleeping in the next room as we speak. He is the joy of my life. But when it comes to further children, I am not sure if I can have another baby, deliver a healthy child and come out on the other side alive and well. If any of you know my pregnancy and delivery story you know the pain and fear in which I am talking about. (Read My Shocking Pregnancy Story)


My Little Miracle

This my friends is a true test of whether God will fulfill my dream in the manner I see fit, or if He will choose to shatter my dream and fulfill this dream in a entirely different manner. We are still in the process of knowing the outcome and will one day look back on this dream but hopefully, with either outcome, I will come out closer to Christ than I currently remain.

Moment of Truth: “Learn how to look through life’s tragedies and see the lavish blessings God has for you.”